Background Music:


Music:  Enya--From Where I Am
  Another Life

By

Deborah A. Hymon
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(C) December 24, 2004

Forever Knight Fan Fiction---Dark N&N---Adult
CONTENT WARNINGS: 
Adult Nick & Natalie Story---Explicit sex (M/F)---(Nick/Nat)

Do not read if under age or such
       material offends you!  



DISCLAIMERS:  The Forever Knight characters belong to Columbia Tri/Star
No Copyright Infringement is intended
 
This story takes place at the end of third
season, a few weeks after the episode
Night in Question. Last Knight didn't happen.

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Forever Knight was a popular TV show with a substantial cult following. The show aired from 1992-1996.  Since the show’s cancellation, many fans have written fan fiction stories, extending the story or allowing the characters to pursue relationships that were denied on the show. Another Life is an extension of Nick and Natalie’s forbidden romance, and my version of what actually could have happened to these two dynamic characters.  

Author’s Personal Note:  In my Forever Knight world, the last TV episode, ‘Last Knight’, never happened.  Call it denial, but the Nick that I grew to know and love would never have drained Nat, and left her on a cold, cement floor to die.  And LaCroix, Nick’s vampire master and father, would never end the life of his precious son.  ‘Last Knight’ was an attempt to quickly end the show, but the fans refuse to let these wonderful characters die.

 

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This book is dedicated to my husband, Bruce, and our two daughters, Tara and Tasha, who took charge on Christmas Eve, allowing me to finish this story and submit it to the Yuletide Awards.  Thanks to their combined efforts of cooking, wrapping, and cleaning, I met the deadline and enjoyed a wonderful evening with family and friends.  A special thanks to my close friends, who were supportive that evening, and understood my last minute edits.  There's too many to name, but you know who you are. I love all of you dearly.



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I would like to thank two friends who are continuously a part of my Forever Knight projects.  Donna Welborn, my number one fan, who has been there from the beginning.  She’s always there to kick my butt, listen to my ideas, and beta read my work.  Her continued enthusiasm for my ideas and writing are greatly appreciated. 

The other person is Phyllis Russ, who constantly demands I write more Nick and Nat stories.  My first fanzine was published due to her repeated requests for a Season of Change book.  Without her I would never have thought to publish my stories in a fanzine.  These two friends are my sister’s in the Knight, and I love them dearly. 

 

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 ~~~ Prologue ~~~



 
He was brought across in 1228, preyed on humans for their blood. Now he wants to be mortal again, to repay society for his sins, to emerge from his world of darkness, from his endless, forever knight.


Nicholas de Brabant, known throughout the centuries by many different names, is in his present persona, Nick Knight.  Nicholas, a vampire, lived in darkness, relishing in his bloodlust and power for centuries.  A chance meeting with Joan of Arc caused him to question his life as a vampire, the result—he hated what he’d become.  He wishes to regain his soul, and regain his mortality, to love and die, as it should have been centuries ago.

Throughout the centuries, Nick held many occupations, but the last century he’s tried to repent by helping mortals.  His desire to repay society, led him to his present day employment, a homicide detective in Toronto.  

Six years earlier, Nick was presumed dead after a pipe bomb attack.  He tried to protect mortals from the deadly explosion, and succeeded, but was injured for his effort.  Nick was brought to Toronto’s morgue where the coroner, Dr. Natalie Lambert, was working late.  Nick Knight regenerated on her exam table, revealing his true nature.  

The creature and man fascinated Natalie, instead of frightening her. The vampire Code, to hypnotize a mortal to forget or kill them if they should have knowledge of vampires, is strictly enforced. Killing Natalie wasn’t an option since Nick hadn’t killed in over a century. Nick tried hypnotizing Natalie, but she was a resistor, someone who can’t be hypnotized.  Once she discovered Nick hated being a vampire, and wanted to regain his mortality, she offered to help him in his search for a cure. Trust and friendship between the two eventually led to forbidden love.

Vampires and mortals don’t play house—the results can be deadly for the mortal.  Vampires are sexual creatures, but to complete the sexual act they must consume their lover’s blood.  Should they ever indulge in this forbidden love, Nick fears he’ll lose control, and in a fit of passion, drain Natalie—killing her.  

Nick’s vampirism isn’t the only thing preventing an intimate relationship with Natalie.  Almost 800 years ago, Nick’s vampire father, LaCroix, fell in love with Nick’s mortal sister.  LaCroix wanted to bring her across, to be his eternal companion, but Nick wouldn’t allow it. He saved Fleur, his sister, by making a bargain with LaCroix, promising, ‘if I ever truly fall in love with a mortal, then you shall have your retribution, by claiming my mortal love and denying me the relationship.’  Nick fears LaCroix will kill or bring Natalie across if he should discover Nick’s true feelings for the mortal.

Nick and Natalie’s other obstacle is the Enforcers, the Vampire police. If the Enforcers discover Natalie’s knowledge of vampires, she and Nick will be killed.

Nick and Natalie have danced around their feelings for years, both afraid to verbally admit their love to the other. Except, all relationships change.  One night Nick is shot in the head, losing his memory, forgetting he's a vampire, but his heart remembers Natalie.  The two spend one sensual night in each others arms, Nick vowing to love her forever.  But the next morning, with the return of his memories, his vampire reemerges.  The forbidden lovers are faced with the harsh reality that their love can never be, but hearts and destiny are two powers that can't be changed.  Can these two love enough to overcome their forbidden love?

 









***CHAPTER ONE***



"What do you want from me, Nat?"  Nick looked straight at her, but his eyes avoided making contact with hers.  He nervously rubbed  his right thumb with his left hand fingers.

Natalie stared at him.  Her face felt flushed from the anger she felt boiling deep within her.  If he couldn't give her what she wanted, needed, without her telling him, then there was nothing between them.  She let out a heavy sigh, her anger turning into a painful tightening in her chest.  "Nothing, Nick."  Her voice was low, with the tone of defeat.  "Nothing...if you can't give it freely, without demand."

She turned to walk to the lift. Nick came up behind her, resting his hands on her shoulders.  "Nat..."

Before he could say more, she shrugged his hands off, and stepped into the lift, pushing the down button as her sad eyes locked with his.  The loft remained quiet until the door shut, and the mechanical roar of the lift engaged, sending Nat downward to the garage.

"Nat!  Wait!! Come back...Nat!"  Nick called.  He heard the lift door opening, the whirring sound of the garage door lifting, and the faint beat of Nat's heart growing more distant.  "Damn it, Nat!"  He couldn't follow.  Sunrise had arrived an hour ago.

Natalie sat in her car, her forehead leaning against the steering wheel, her arms tightly wrapped around her waist.  Her stomach muscles tightened, her chest felt heavy, and the tears slowly began to slide down her cheeks.  "Damn you, Nick. Damn you for not even trying to give us a chance."

She wiped the tears away with the back of her hands; her decision made.  She was leaving Toronto, leaving her career, the few friends she had, and the only man she ever truly loved or would love.  She couldn't remain here, seeing him daily, without being near him, feeling his arms around her, and his soft kisses that caused her heart to beat faster.  She tried not to think about the love they'd shared, it hurt too much.

Nick had distanced himself from her, avoiding any contact unless it concerned work.  Even then, if it weren't too conspicuous, he would send Tracy, his partner, to the morgue for reports.  Tracy had noticed the change in their relationship, and so had most of their co-workers.  Tracy even had the nerve to ask what was wrong between her and Nick.  Nat avoided an honest answer by telling Tracy they both were tired, and over worked. 

The truth was it had been a few weeks since Nick had been shot in the head, lost his memory, and they'd spent one glorious, intimate night together.  Without his memories, he'd forgotten what he was, and the vampire had remained dormant. A scene flashed in her head of them naked, in his bed, the feel of her back sliding against silk sheets as he slowly thrust into her over and over again, filling her warm core to the max.  He'd loved her every way possible, giving her one orgasm after another.  His loving was tender, slow, and so giving. He's made sure she had been satisfied several times before he'd given in to his own passion.  It had been the most loving and sensuous night of her life. She'd seen the love and desire in his eyes as he made love to her.   'I love you, and I'll never let you go,' he'd confessed at the peak of his release.

A stray tear escaped and fell to her dry lips.  She wiped it away, and wondered why fate, God, or whatever supreme forces of the universe would allow them to finally love, only to take it away.  The next morning, Nick had left the loft while she slept, only to be severely burned by the morning sun.  He'd barely made it back to the loft, where he'd collapsed in her arms, demanding to know what was wrong with him.  If only he'd listened to her request, not to leave the loft, then maybe nothing would have triggered the release of the vampire.  All of her hopes and dreams were shattered as she tried to explain to him that he was an 800 year old vampire. She'd told him it was impossible for them to have the kind of relationship they wanted.

Nat looked up at the loft's window where the metal shutters were closed for the day, locking Nick into his daytime prison.  She took a deep breath and started her car.  "Goodbye, Nick.  I'll always love you...forever." 

Nat turned the car toward work.  Her first stop to turn in her resignation.  From there she planned to close out her bank accounts, pack essentials, and take her cat to Grace, who promised to temporarily care for him until Nat was settled.  She wanted to leave Toronto before sundown, that way Nick couldn't follow her.  She wanted a clean break with no more talks or arguments.  Nat knew in her heart if she saw him again, it would be difficult to leave.  Her apartment rent paid for the next three months, gave her time to decide where she would go, and what to do with her furniture.  Whatever lay in her future, it didn't include Toronto or the man she'd just left for the last time. It would be difficult, but her life would take a different path now, one that didn't include Nick.





***CHAPTER TWO***



Nick barely slept due to dreams of Nat. Each time he fell asleep, he'd wake from nightmares of Nat's face filled with hurt and defeat, and her finally walking out of his life forever.  Time after time he'd awoken, his body covered in a blood sweat.  Once from a true nightmare, one of Nat naked, in his bed, covered in her own blood.  The sound of the phone ringing startled him.  He quickly went down the stairs, hoping he'd hear Natalie's voice when he answered. 

"Nat?"

After a long pause, he heard Tracy. "Nick, what the hell have you done?"

"Tracy, I don't know what you mean. I just woke up. I've been at the loft all day."

"You bastard!  I can't believe you!  You're the most selfish man I've ever met."  She yelled.

Nick's sensitive hearing caused him to hold the phone away from his ear.   "Trace, how can I possibly know what you're accusing me of if you don't tell me?"

"Nat, that's what!"

Nick felt his heart add an extra beat to its usual slow rythm.  His throat tightened.  "Trace, what about Nat?  Has something happened to her?"  A part of him dreaded her reply.  Fears of Natalie injured...or worse begin to creep through his body.

"You honestly don't know, do you?"

"Know what?  Please Tracy, tell me!"  His voice quivered with the onslaught of panic.

"Nat's gone." Her tone softened, her voice lowered.  "She's gone, Nick."

"Gone, gone where?" The fear he was feeling increased.

"As in gone...resigned, Nick. What did you do to make her leave, to leave you?"

"Resigned?"

"Yes, she turned in her resignation first thing this morning.  She asked Grace to keep her cat, and told her that she was leaving town." She lowered her voice, avoiding anyone from over hearing her conversation.  "Nick, I found out as soon as I got to work. The entire precinct is talking about it. I couldn't believe she'd really leave, leave you, but I checked. There's no answer at her apartment or cell phone. Nick, she's gone, and I don't think she's coming back."

"How can you know that?  What are you not telling me?"

"I did a computer check. I know it was unauthorized, and I could get in trouble, but I had to know for sure.  Nick, she's cleaned out her bank accounts. I've checked, and there aren't any registered travel plans. That means she's driving, taking her car with her.  I would say it's almost a definite that she doesn't plan on returning."  Tracy waited for Nick to respond, but he didn't. She had to know because recently Nat and her had become friends, one of the few friends she had.  "Nick, what happened, what did you do to make her leave?"

Nick ran his fingers through his hair, confused and worried that what Tracy was saying made sense. If Nat had left and wasn't coming back, then it was his fault.  But maybe it was for the best.  If she moved on, perhaps she still had a chance to lead a normal life, one without vampires and all the evil he'd brought into her life.

"Nick?  Come on, talk to me. We have to get her to come back, you have to...."

"Listen to me, Trace.  I know you and Nat are close, but I think maybe this is for the best. "

Tracy's anger resurfaced.  "How can you say that?  Nick! I thought you loved her, and I know she loves you.  Is she not worth fighting for?  What you two have is what most of us only dream about. You can deny it all you want, but I know what I saw when you two were together. I've never seen such love, devotion, and passion. Don't even try to deny it, partner."

Nick picked up the remote and clicked open the metal shutters.  The last remnants of sundown were evident in the western sky.  A dim glow lit the clouds to brilliant shades of pinks, blues, and purples.  Winter sunsets were always the most spectacular, and his favorite.  The last few seconds of the day was the only way for him to enjoy the sun, before his world of darkness emerged.  How many times had Nat and he stood here and watched a fading sunset?  He'd always enjoyed those special moments with her back pressed to his chest, his arms wrapped around her waist, his chin resting on her shoulder, both silent with their private thoughts.  His dreams were always the same, of loving her, having her with him forever, and perhaps someday having a family together.

"Nick, are you there?"

"Yeah, I'm here.  Trace, I don't think Nat..."

"Shut up, and listen to me.  Nat loves you.  I have to admit, sometimes I wonder why, but she does. She loves you completely with everything she is.  Nick, she wants to be with you, and I don't know what you did or said, but I think you hurt her.  She's gone, Nick.  Can you honestly live without ever seeing her again, without her in your life?  I don't think Nat can do that.  I think she'll give up without you."

"What do you mean?  Nat would never harm herself, she's too strong a person."

"Nick, there's more ways to end it all besides taking your own life.  Grief is a powerful thing.  People can grieve themselves to death. I've seen it happen in my own family.  A broken heart can destroy a person, and I think you've broken Nat's heart."  Tracy waited, bit her lower lip and plunged ahead.  "I thought you cared for her, loved her. If you did, you wouldn't hurt her like this.  You might as well have shot her in the heart.  You've destroyed her, Nick, and I want to know what you're going to do about fixing it. It's never too late.  I think you owe it to Nat to fix this mess; you owe it to both of you. There's nothing that can't be fixed with love."

Nick looked out the window, the sky had turned dark, and he could now safely leave the loft.  "Trace, book me off for the next week.  I don't care what you tell the Captain, tell him it's a family emergency."

"Does this mean you're..."

"Yes, I'm going to find Nat, and bring her back. Call Grace, tell her if Nat calls not to let her know I'm looking for her, but try to find out where she is.  Don't let anyone at work know I'm searching for her. Nat can be a stubborn woman, and if she's still pissed at me, she will do everything she can to keep me from finding her.  I don't want her to know I'm looking for her.  Got it?"

"Got it, Nick." Tracy's smile beamed.  "I want you to know, you're doing the right thing."

"I hope so, Trace, I hope so."

"I know so.  And Nick?"

"Yeah, Trace?"

"I'm sorry I called you a bastard, but I'm not sorry if it made you see the mistake of not going after Nat."

Nick smiled for the first time in weeks.  "Thanks, Trace. I guess I just needed a kick in the pants, a wake up call."

"Any time, partner, now go get Nat. Call me if I can help.  I'll be on the cell if you need me."

"Thanks, Tracy."

"You're welcome.  Just make sure I have invitations to your wedding, and perhaps invites to your kid's graduations."  She couldn't contain her laugh.

"Deal, if I can get Nat to forgive me, and give me another chance."

"Not 'if' Nick, 'when'.  Now go get her."

"Bye Trace."

Trace hung up the phone.  She had to stop grinning before she spoke with the Captain about Nick's week off, otherwise he'd know the truth, and that wouldn't do.  Nick was right, if Nat didn't want to be found, she wouldn't be.  Keeping Nick's intentions a secret were the best hope he had of finding her. She knew Nat would most likely call Grace to check on her cat, Syd.  Nat might even call her, and she had to be prepared to play the game. Tracy decided she would do whatever it took, even deceiving Nat, to help her partner because Nick and Nat belonged together.






***CHAPTER THREE***



Natalie had no idea where she would go.  Toronto had been her home for eight years.  She'd never thought she'd be the one leaving.  It had always been her fear that Nick would move on, leaving her behind.  Tears filled her eyes, and she angrily wiped them away with the back of her hand.  Suddenly, she realized where she needed to go, who she wanted to be with.

She'd been driving for an hour toward Buffalo, New York, to the one man, besides Nick, she knew she could trust.  It had been five years since she'd seen Andrew.  But, their emails, phone calls, Christmas and birthday cards were consistent, always with a brief note exchanging thier life's events. Nick didn't know about Andrew or how important he was to her.  She didn't know why she'd never told him, but she knew Nick had his secrets, and Andrew was hers.

She flipped open her cell phone and dialed the memorized number.

"Hello, Andrew speaking."

Natalie smiled. 'Always the proper one, his manners still impeccable,' she thought.

"Andrew, it's me, Nat."

"Nat!  How are you?"

Natalie bit her lower lip, and took a deep breath.  "I need you, Andrew. Can I come for a visit, perhaps stay with you for a few days?"

"Oh, Nat, of course you can. My home is always open to you.  What's going on?  I'll be happy to see you, but why the sudden visit?  Don't try to tell me there's nothing wrong, I can hear it in your voice."

Natalie smiled. Andrew always knew her feelings, her emotions, sometimes better than she knew herself.  "I'd rather not get into it on the phone, but I promise to tell you everything when I arrive."

"Be prepared to spill all when you get here.  When will you arrive?"

"Is an hour too soon?"

"No, not too soon. I'm in the middle of having the condo remodeled, but we'll figure out something. And before you say it, no your stay won't be an inconvenience."

"Thanks, Andrew."

"Anytime. You know how I feel about you. It'll be good to see you again; it's been too long. I've missed you, Nat."

"Yes, it has been too long, and you have no idea how much I've missed you.  I'll see you in about an hour. And Andrew-thanks."

"No problem, just get yourself safely here to me."

"Deal." Natalie's thoughts rushed quickly to past memories, of wonderful times they'd spent together.  "Andrew...I love you."  She suddenly felt shy with her comment.

"Natalie, I love you too, always have and always will."

Natalie clicked off the phone, feeling better than she had since leaving Toronto.  At least now she had a destination, and would be with someone who she'd never doubt loved her.

An hour later, Nat held her breath and pushed the doorbell.  The door quickly opened, and she found strong arms wrapped around her, her body lifted, being twirled in a circle by Andrew.  She wrapped her arms around his neck, trying to hold on during her unexpected orbit of excitement.

"Nat!  It's so good to see you!"  He stopped, and let her body slide down his, allowing her feet to finally touch the floor.  Andrew caressed her face between both of his hands.  "You look wonderful, as beautiful as always."  He lowered his face and kissed her firmly on the lips.  "God! It's good to have you here."  He hugged her tight before grabbing her hand and pulling her inside his condo.  "Make yourself comfortable.  Let me get your bags."

Natalie quickly noticed the construction debris in the living area of the condo, which included a truck size hole in the wall, covered with plastic drop cloths.   The remodeling mess extended into the kitchen where boxes were stacked lining one wall.  She turned as Andrew sat her bags on the floor.  "Andrew, this doesn't seem to be a good time. When you said you were remodeling, I had no idea you were involved in such an extensive renovation. I can get a room at the local hotel..."

"Don't even think it, Nat. I want you close to me. I know something is wrong or you would never take off from work so suddenly and show up on my doorstep. Don't think for one minute I'm going to let you leave here. Nat, I'm here for you, always.  We'll work something out."

She arched a brow and gave him a questioning look.  "Are you sure?"

"I know it's been awhile, but do you have a problem sharing my bed?  As you can see there's no sofa, and I'm afraid that for now this is a one-bedroom flat. I bought the condo next door so I could enlarge this place."  He nervously waited her answer.

Natalie found herself smiling for the first time in weeks. The smile turned into a loud chuckle.  "Andrew, I trust you. And as far as my virtue, I believe it was tarnished years ago."

"Good, then it's settled, you stay here and sleep with me. After all, it's been awhile since I've shared my bed, so it'll be good to have a warm body next to mine."

"For me too."  She now knew she'd made the right decision to come here, to spend time with him, sharing their lives like they used to in the old days.

"Let me take your coat, and I'll take your bags into the bedroom.  There's two sinks in the master bath or you can use the half bath out here to do your womanly stuff."  He helped her out of her coat, hanging it in the entry closet.

"That might be the best idea. That way I won't invade your space with curling irons and other 'womanly stuff'." She laid her purse on the dining table, and turned to see him walking out of the bedroom where he'd carried her bags.

"Oh, Nat, when did that ever stop you from invading my space?  And to be honest, I've missed your invasions, so feel free to invade all you wish."  He pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her.  "Damn, I've missed you!"  He kissed her forehead and both cheeks.  "When are you going to tell me what brought on this invasion?"  He teased.  He released her, but didn't move, a silent demand for her to explain why she'd suddenly appeared on his door step.

Nat took a deep breath.  "Oh, Andrew, my life is a real mess, and I don't know how to fix it."

"Listen, why don't you go take a hot shower, get comfortable, and I'll make you a cup of hot soup. Later, if you'd like, we can go out to dinner or I can phone for take-out to be delivered. Whatever you want, Nat.  How does that sound?"

"It sounds wonderful, especially the hot shower part. I'll only be a few minutes."

"Okay, I'll start the soup. Since I don't have a sofa, why don't you rest on the bed? I'll bring the soup to you."

She smiled, and caressed his cheek.  "You've always been too good to me.  Why?"

"Because you're a very special person, and I love you dearly."  He playfully kissed her on the nose, and walked from the room, to make her soup.  "Fresh towels in the closet next to the shower, Nat.  Give a yell if you need anything else."  He called over his shoulder as he tried to find a can of chicken noodle soup from one of the stacked cardboard boxes.

Natalie finished her shower, put on a pair of sweats, and laid on the bed. A throw from the chair covered her bare feet.  She was finally beginning to relax when she heard the soft knock on the bedroom door.

"I'm decent."

The door slowly opened. And Andrew walked in with a tray.  A steaming bowl of soup, a plate of crackers, and glass of water were presented to her.  "Room service, my dear."

Natalie couldn't help but grin at the regal presentation.  She smiled, but quickly her eyes filled with tears.  She couldn't help thinking about Nick, wishing it were him who was eagerly taking care of her.  She brushed at her eyes with the back of her hands, before taking the tray from Andrew.  "Ignore my emotional outburst. I'll get over it soon enough. I promise."

Andrew fluffed up the pillows, and held them against the headboard until she leaned comfortably against them.  He tucked the paper napkin into the neck of her sweatshirt, fashioning it into a bib.  "Listen to me.  You've never had to hide your emotions from me. You don't have to be the tough as nails, Natalie Lambert, not with me.  I'm here for you, and after you've finished your soup, I want you to tell me everything.  Remember, I have broad shoulders?"

Nat dipped her spoon into the soup, cautiously blowing across it to cool the hot liquid.  She took a sip and let the warmth flow down, warming her inner chest.  She slowly raised her eyes, and looked at Andrew as she took another sip. 

"I'll leave you while I take a quick shower, then we can talk."  He grabbed a few clothes from the bottom drawer of the chest, and went into the bathroom, quietly shutting the door behind him.

Natalie finished her soup, lost in her thoughts of what had happened the last few weeks to change her life. How could she unburden her heart to Andrew without revealing Nick's secret?  An idea finally began to play out in her mind. 

She heard the bathroom door open, and saw Andrew standing in the doorway, partially dressed in navy blue silk pajama bottoms that hung low on his hips. She watched his firm bicep and pectoral muscles flex as he towel dried his hair.  He was a magnificent specimen, his broad shoulders tapered downward to a small waist.  His skin slick, not a hair anywhere, except the small dark dusting below his navel that continued below his pants. His flesh a golden bronze, proof of his love of the sun, and this time of year she assumed the tanning bed.

God he was beautiful.  Not just his body, but also his face.  His features were strongly sculpted with sharp angles, and a jaw line that most men, especially models, would kill for. His eyes were an intense blue, and sadly reminded her of Nick's.  A full mane of jet black hair crowned his gorgeous face, the lose curls just barely brushed his shoulders.  A certain turn of his head in the light caused his black hair appear to have blue streaks, reminding her of a black raven in the sunlight.  The thought of a raven reminded her of the Raven nightclub that Nick frequented.  She pushed those thoughts away before they caused her pain, and continued to admire the view of Andrew's toned body.

Andrew raised his head and noticed Nat staring at him.  "Like what you see, lady?"

"Oh yeah. A gal would never complain about that view!"

He rubbed the towel across his chest, catching the last droplets that had fallen from his wet hair, and threw the towel at her face.  She caught it and threw it back at him. He laughed, dropped the towel on the floor and fell on to the bed.  "You do know how to capture a guy's attention and flatter him, Natalie Lambert."

The playfulness was gone.  Nat's smile turned into a frown and tears again filled her eyes.  "Don't bet on it."  She fell back into the pillows and turned away from him.

Andrew hesitated, but quickly forgot the years of their separation.  All the years melted away, and once again it was all about them, Andrew and Nat, the inseparable duo.  He rolled over, and put his arms around her, pulling her back close to his chest, and held her tight, one hand stroking her forehead.  "Shhh, love, whatever it is, we'll fix it. We've always fixed everything."  He kissed the back of her head.  "Nat, talk to me.  Let me in, love.  Share your pain with me."  He continued to hold her, rubbing her face, kissing her hair.

Natalie finally let the dam of tears break. She cried more than she thought humanly possible, until there were no more tears, just empty dry sobs.  "Oh, Andrew.  My life is a mess, and I don't know what to do.  I don't think I can go on like this. I just want to fall asleep and never wake up."

Her words scared him. He rolled Nat over on to her back, bracing himself above her, and captured her tear-streaked face in his large hands. "Don't you ever, ever, say that, Nat! Never! Do you hear me?"

She bit her lower lip as the shame filled her. In her grief, she'd forgotten how Andrew's only sister had committed suicide. It had nearly destroyed him. How could she have been so thoughtless?  "I'm sorry.  I didn't mean it.  I'm just so tired."

Andrew lowered his body over hers, hugging her close.  He kissed her temple before rolling over bringing her face to rest on his warm bare chest.  "I know, love, but don't ever think that.  Nothing can be that bad, not even a failed marriage." His last words were spoken so softly she'd barely heard them.

Nat let him hold her, relaxing into his embrace. She wrapped her arms tightly around him. She knew his thoughts were on Diane, his sister, who had committed suicide when her husband had an affair with a college girl, getting the girl pregnant.  She felt guilty for her slip of tongue.  "Andrew, I'm sorry, I didn't think."

He pushed her away, enough to look at her.  "It's okay, Nat, water under the bridge. Don't worry about it. What's done is done, but you're here now. So, let's see if we can fix whatever is wrong."  He held her face, allowing his thumb to swipe across her cheek, drying a stray tear.  He kissed her nose.  "Why don't you start from the beginning, perhaps his name?"

She looked at him, her eyes widened.  "How do you know it's a man that's the problem?"

He kissed her again on the nose and smiled. "Because I know you better than anyone, perhaps even yourself.  I know any other problem would cause you to take it by the tail and deal with the issues, solving whatever. I know your heart, Nat. When you're in love or involved romantically, you can be a bit irrational with your thinking. You let your heart lead, not your head. I would bet that's what this is all about. Am I right?"

She bit her lower lip and nodded her head.  Nat pulled away and sat up.  She pulled her knees to her chest, and wrapped her arms tightly around them.  She rested her chin on her knees, trying to decide where to start.  "I met him six years ago.  His name is Nick, Nick Knight. He's a homicide detective in Toronto. We met during a pipe bomb case, and quickly became friends. I'm also his doctor; well, not exactly that. He has a rare skin condition, no tolerance to sun. I offered to do some research on his problem in my spare time.  Over the years our friendship grew, and before I knew it, I had fallen hopelessly and madly in love with him." She turned and looked directly at Andrew.  "I've never loved anyone like I love Nick. I didn't know that type of love was possible."

Andrew touched her arm and stroked up and down, reassuring her to continue.   "Then what's the problem, Nat?  Does he love you?"

She paused and thought about that.  "Yeah, I think so...no, I know so, but it's complicated, Andrew, real complicated."

"Want to explain?"

"Well, he has a real powerful family.  His father can be a dangerous man, and he doesn't approve of our relationship or of me.  He'll do anything to keep us apart.  Nick is afraid his father will cause trouble or hurt me if we're open with our relationship.  A few weeks ago, Nick was shot in the head while on duty.  He temporarily lost his memory...except his feelings for me.  He remembered only that we had something special.  After he was released from the hospital, I moved in with him for a few days, to take care of him."  She paused and took a deep breath.  "Because of his father, Nick had never allowed our relationship to become intimate.  But one night, things were said, feelings shared...we made love, not once but several times.  I thought perhaps that would be the beginning of a life together, a turning point for us to finally be together. But once he remembered everything, he distanced himself from me. God, it hurts, Andrew. I feel as if my heart is being torn out."  Tears started to fall freely down her cheeks, soaking the front of her sweatshirt.

Andrew could feel her pain.  He wanted to hold her, tell her everything would be okay, but he felt powerless to fix this for her.  He needed more information, before he could even attempt to help her.  He reached for her and pulled her down, into his arms.   As he continued to hold her, he felt her body jerk as each burst of tears fell from her beautiful blue eyes.  It was some time before her sobs subsided and he realized she'd fallen asleep. 

He reached for the comforter, pulling it over both of them.  Careful not to wake her, he kissed her temple.  "I love you, Nat.  I'll always be here for you." He kissed her again, before finally falling asleep holding the only woman who had ever truly touched his heart.
***CHAPTER FOUR***


Nick used all his connections at the precinct to locate Nat since her abrupt departure two weeks ago, but every path he followed came up with a firm dead end.  His only consolation was Nat hadn't contacted Grace to check on Syd.  He knew she wouldn't leave her precious cat permanently behind. Fortunately, he'd talked to Grace, and she being his biggest fan to win Natalie's love, had promised to let him know when Nat sent for Syd.  Nick planned on following the cat, and hopefully it would lead him to Nat.

Tracy continued to run daily traces on Nat's credit cards, but so far Nat hadn't used them.  It could be a long time before Nat's credit card's showed activity since she'd closed out her bank accounts, and most likely was paying cash for her purchases. Nat could be anywhere, even in the states. Tracy checked those records too.  Each day without word from Nat, not even knowing if she were safe, caused Nick's temper to flare. Everyone at work avoided him, even Captain Reese.

"Knight!  My office, now!"

Tracy looked across her desk at Nick and mouthed the words, 'good luck'.  She had a feeling Nick would get a strong reprimand for his recent attitude.

Nick slowly walked into the Captain's office, but stood silently, waiting for Joe to speak.

The captain sat down and looked at Nick.  He could see the stress and pain etched into his detectives face.  "Shut the door and sit down, Nick."

Nick did as asked, and remained quiet. He avoided eye contact with Joe.

"Nick, I know what you and Tracy are doing, and off the record, this conversation is not happening.  Do you understand?"

That comment got Nick's attention. He finally looked at Joe, and nodded his head in agreement.

"Listen, no matter what you and Dr. Lambert profess, I know what I see, what I've seen since taking over this precinct.  I've also heard all the speculations over the years, before I arrived.  You two love each other."

Nick started to deny it, but Joe held up his hands to stop him.  "Nick, anybody can see how you two feel about each other. The way you look at her when you think she's not looking. She does the same to you. And when you two do look at each other...my God, the sparks fly.  Most of us would donate a body part to have half of what you two have. I don't know why you haven't committed to a permanent relationship or what happened between the two of you that sent her running, and frankly, it's none of my business.  I hope you and Tracy get a lead on her, and you can convince her to come home. You took last week off, even though you spent most nights in here on the computer. I assume you were trying to find Natalie. If you need more time off, let me know. You work damn hard around here, and put in more hours than most. Just don't let it interfere with your other cases. It hasn't so far."

Nick didn't respond.  He ran his fingers through his hair, his hand dropped to rub across the back of his neck.  The silence in the room lengthened until he finally took a deep breath.  "Captain, I'm going to admit something to you that I've never said to anyone, not even Nat."   His fingers tightened around the chairs arms.  He looked directly into Joe's eyes.  "Yes, I love Nat, so much it hurts.  She knows, but we've never truly spoken the words except once.  I've realized something, something that Tracy made me realize.  I can't live without Nat. I can't imagine her not being a part of my life. Somehow I will find her, and make her understand this. I only hope it's not too late.  I need her, Joe.  God, I need her, and if she'll have me, I plan on making it a permanent relationship, one way or another."

"Nick, why haven't you told her how you feel?"  Joe leaned forward, bracing his chin on his hands, and looked directly into Nick's eyes, waiting for an answer.

"It's complicated. Circumstances have kept us apart. I'm going to find her, but I'm also going to do everything in my power to rectify the situation that has kept me from committing. I've searched a long time for a woman like Nat, and I don't plan on giving her up without a damn good fight."

"I'm glad, Nick.  Natalie's a special woman.  You find her, and make her understand how you feel.  Bring her home, Nick."

Nick stood.  "Captain, I don't want anyone besides you and Grace knowing that Tracy and I are searching for Nat. Nat can be stubborn, and if she's still upset, she'll avoid me and keep a low profile, making it impossible to find her."

"Deal, Knight, and remember we didn't have this conversation.  I have no idea what you and that impulsive partner of yours is up to."  Joe grinned and gave Nick a wink.

Nick smiled for the first time since entering the office.  "Thanks, Captain."  He turned and walked out, quietly returning to his desk. He glanced across the desk at Tracy. She arched a brow, waiting for him to explain what had gone on with their Captain behind closed doors.  He smiled at his partner.  "Later, Trace." He picked up the file from their last homicide and started to review the notes.

Tracey couldn't believe she'd finally seen a smile on Nick's face.  She couldn't wait until their break.  If Nick didn't tell her what the Captain had said, she would beat it out of him if she had to.  They were in this together, no secrets, and one way or the other they would find Nat and bring her home.   

Captain Reese looked out the door at the two detectives.  He couldn't believe the professional Dr. Lambert had resigned and disappeared without a trace. He only hoped that no harm came to Natalie, and they found her soon.  He'd been surprised with Nick's confession, especially after the couple had denied their feelings for years.  He knew Nick and Tracy wouldn't stop until they found Natalie. She didn't stand a chance against Toronto's best detective team. She might be smart enough to avoid detection for a while, but sooner or later they would find her.   He sincerely hoped Nick could convince her to come home, and they would make their long denied relationship a permanent one. He also hoped Nick conquered whatever private battles he had to fight to claim the lady as his. If any couple was destined to be together, it was those two.

Joe knew they could all get in trouble if their superiors found out about this unauthorized investigation. After all Natalie Lambert wasn't an official missing person. She'd resigned, and left town.  But somehow he thought if it did come to anyone's attention, having Tracy Vetter, the Police Commissioners daughter, on their team would help to smooth any feather ruffling that might occur.  So far, neither detective had neglected their regular cases. As a matter of fact, Knight had thrown himself more into his work than usual, and still kept a full time investigation going on Lambert. He didn't know how the man did it, but he knew Knight wouldn't rest until he found her.

"Break time, and you have some explaining to do, partner."  Tracy stood, grabbed her jacket from the back of her chair and put it on.  "Come on, let's go."  She walked around to Nick's side of the desk and tugged at his shirtsleeve, determined to make him follow her.

"Okay, don't tear the silk." He chuckled.

Tracy grinned. It was the first time he'd teased or attempted any humor since Natalie disappeared.  She swatted his arm.  "I'll do more than tear silk if you don't get your butt out the door." 

Nick stood, putting on his leather duster.  He gave her one of his cocky-boyish grins that most women swooned over. But somehow, Tracy had always seemed to be immune to it, and now didn't seem to be an exception.

As if she could read his mind she warned him. "That doesn't work on me.  Never has and never will.  Save that impish expression for wooing female suspects to confess."

Nick was honestly shocked at Tracy's comment.  "Impish expression?"

"Nick, do you have any idea how silly that expression looks?  It may work on some women, but trust me the ones it works on aren't worth having."  They stepped out the front door of the precinct.  She abruptly turned and noticed his perplexed expression.  "Does it work on Nat?"  She crossed her arms and waited for his answer.

He sighed.  "No it doesn't."

"Well that's proof of my observation."  She smirked, and started to walk toward the Caddie.

Nick caught her arm, and stopped her.  "Trace, thanks."

She looked at his hand holding her elbow, then at him. "For what?"

"For not talking about Nat in the past tense."  His voice was low, and very serious.  For a moment he let her see the pain he felt, before quickly restoring the 'Nick Knight, tough guy, nothing bothers me' mask.

For the first time ever, Tracy touched his face, caressing his cheek with her thumb.  "You're welcome Nick.  Nat's not gone forever. We will find her.  She loves you too much not to listen to you, and forgive you for whatever happened.  Trust me on this one.  You have faith, Nick; faith in you—faith in her, and faith in your love.  Don't give up hope, Nick.  You'll see, everything will work out."

He covered her hand with his, pushing his face against her warm hand.  "That's exactly what Nat always says to me--faith, hope, and love."

Tracey smiled.  "Nat's a smart woman."  She bit her lower lip, and paused. She wondered if she should stop, and not give him too much hope.  No matter what, Nat 'was' a smart woman, and in love with this man.  Nat was definitely too smart to let a guy like Nick get away.  "Too smart not to forgive you, and come home." Tracy added.

Nick turned her hand and placed a kiss in her palm.  "I hope your right.  Whatever happens, Trace, you're a good friend. Thanks."

"You bet."  She looped her arm through his, and started guiding him toward the car.  "Now tell me what the Captain had to say?"

He opened the car door, let her slide in before shutting it and walking around to the driver's side.  He stopped briefly to look up. He'd felt his master's presence, and sure enough there stood Lucien LaCroix watching him, and Tracy.  He had no doubts LaCroix had heard their entire conversation. 

Nick closed down his emotions, shutting out any further probing that LaCroix might pursue through their vampire link.  He nodded at LaCroix, acknowledging him.  He planned a long over due trip to the Raven at the end of his shift.  He had no idea what he would say, but he would fight this battle with everything he had.  One way or another he would make LaCroix release him of his debt.  The 800-year old debt to surrender his one true mortal love to his father, master, would not happen.  He would die before he allowed LaCroix to harm Natalie.
***CHAPTER FIVE***


Nick tried to focus on the Snyder case for the reminder of his shift, but he couldn't stop thinking about LaCroix's unexpected appearance.   Why had LaCroix been on the precinct's roof?   Several times during the evening Tracy smacked Nick's arm to get his attention, abruptly bringing him out of his deep thoughts.  He had to find a way to persuade LaCroix to not harm Nat, and allow them to be together. 

"Nick!"   Trace shouted for the third time.  She swatted him again. "Damn it, Nick. I know that this situation with Nat has you distracted, but do you know how nervous you make me when you space off like that while driving?  After all, I'm mortal, and car crashes do kill humans." 

Nick looked at her.  He realized Tracy's fear had made her unaware of what she'd just said.  He couldn't pass up the opportunity to tease her.  Nick still found it amazing she knew about vampires because of her friend Vachon, but hadn't discovered that he too was a member of the walking undead.  Nick loved when these situations occurred. He could innocently tease, and watch her squirm, unable to disclose her vampire knowledge.

"What do you mean you're mortal?  Trace, are you trying to tell me you're not an alien from planet Xenion, or some monster or witch from the dark side of hell?  Perhaps a blood sucking undead of the night?"  He smirked when he noticed his last comment caused her to withdraw and stare out the side window.  It was all he could do to keep from laughing out loud.  These moments were rare, but priceless. He wondered what she would do if she ever found out he was a vampire.  He hoped that never happened. One vampire in her life was enough.

"Hey."  He reached across and lightly squeezed her arm.  "I'm sorry. Okay?  You're right.  This thing with Nat has me spaced out, and worried.  I just need to know she's safe."

"Nick, I've run a check on all the hospitals..." She paused before adding,  "and morgues, in Canada and the states. Besides, I'm sure she's traveling with ID.  If anything happened, we would have heard by now."

"I know, Trace, but I keep running over and over in my mind where she could be. We've done everything we can to track her..."

"Nick!  I just thought of something!  Damn, how could we have been so stupid?"

"What?"  His voice cracked with excitement.

"We've been trying to find Nat by checking all her personal data, credit cards, cell phone records, and such.  Have you been to her apartment since she left town?"

"No. Why?"

"Nick!  Don't you think there could be something there that might tell us where she's gone?"

"I don't know about this, Trace."

Tracy turned to face him.  "Listen, you do want to find Nat, don't you?"

"You know I do."  He responded with a determination.

"Okay, then turn this tank around, and let's go."

"Tracy, this is an invasion of Nat's privacy, and we don't have a search warrant.  This could be considered breaking and entering."

"Damn it, Nick!  We haven't been authorized to run the checks we've been doing, but that didn't stop you. And screw Nat's privacy if it brings her home where she belongs.  As far as the breaking and entering, don't you have a key?"

"Yeah."

Tracy let out a deep sigh.  "Okay, then turn this damned turquoise, land boat around.  Let's go to Nat's apartment, and see what we can dig up."

"Trace?"

"Yeah?"

"Stop insulting my car.  This is a classic, a '62 convertible Cadillac.  They don't..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. They don't make them like this any more."  She interrupted, rolling her eyes.

Nick scowled, but did a u-turn in the middle of Yong Street and headed toward Nat's apartment.  He glanced at her to see the cute 'Tracy Vetter' smirk that he'd become so used to.  He smiled at her.  "Thanks, Trace."

She gave him a silly grin.  "Don't mention it, partner."

Neither partner said anything until they were parked in front of Nat's apartment.  Nick opened his door and met Tracy as she stepped out of the car.  He took Tracy by the arm and led her to the front of the building.  "Tracy, I know I've thanked you several times for helping, but I want you to know I really do appreciate everything you're doing. You're a good friend, not just to Nat, but to me too."

"Nick, you would do the same for me. That's what friend's and partners do.  Now come on. Let's see what we can find out about our elusive coroner."

Nick used the key Nat had given him to open the building's front door.  They took the elevator to the third floor, to Nat's apartment. Nick used the second key to unlock the door, reached in and flipped on the light switch.

Tracy stepped inside, took off her coat and threw it across the back of the sofa.  "Why don't I check the bedroom and bath, while you check the living room and office?"  She offered.

"Okay. I still feel a little weird about this, so don't make a mess of things as you search."

Trace put her hands on her hips and rolled her eyes.

"Nat's a neat freak, she'll know that someone's been here searching through her things." Nick explained.

"Nick, who cares if we find her?"

"Yeah, I guess your right, but just try to be neat with the search."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Tracy started down the hall, waving her hand.

Nick started going through the large pile of papers and mail on Nat's desk.  Nothing.  He opened the drawers and carefully looked, but still didn't find anything that would give them a clue. 

Suddenly, the computer caught his attention.  He touched the spacebar, and the monitor sprang to life.  Excited, he eased into the chair, and started searching through the programs Nat had installed on the computer's desktop.  If she'd made travel arrangements or contacted a friend to stay with, he just might find the evidence he searched for.  He noticed her mail program, 'Entourage', the same program he used on his own computer.  He clicked on it, and discovered Nat had password protected her email. 

"Damn, Nat!"

He started typing in different passwords, Sydney, Richard, Coroner, even the word Death, but none of them opened her email.  He tried again, Amy, Sarah, Schanke, but still no luck.

"Oh, Nat, you couldn't have been that obvious, could you?" He quietly asked himself.

He typed in Nick, Knight, deBrabant, even 1228, the year he was brought across, but nothing happened.

"Damn!"  He hit the desk with his fist, his frustration causing the vampire to claw for its release.  He looked over his shoulder, and could hear Tracy still opening drawers in the bedroom. He quickly took the small silver flask from his inner coat pocket, and took several swigs of bovine blood before slipping it back into his pocket.  Now wasn't the time for his vampire to surface.  He took a deep breath, willing a self imposed calmness that he had been unaware he still possessed.

'Okay, Nat, so what would be important enough for you to use as your password?'  He stared at the computer screen for some time, his mind totally blank.  He forced himself to think back to their times together and past conversations.   He tried to pick out one event that might give him a clue.  A small smile slid across his face. 

He typed in Vampire--BINGO!  He clicked on her in-box and was surprised to see over 9,000 emails.  He hit the top of the box to shuffle them in order by date received, and started scrolling down the list, starting two weeks before she left town.  Most of them he recognized as medical reports.  There were a few from her sister-in-law and niece, Sarah and Amy. He quickly scanned through those, but nothing revealed a planned visit. He noticed emails and what appeared to be jokes from Grace.  One email address kept appearing--Andrew M @hotmail.com.  He opened one of the emails and began to read.

Dear, Nat.

Just a quick note to let you know I'm thinking about you. You're never far from my thoughts or my heart, dear one.  I hope everything is going well for you.  You've never mentioned who is occupying your life these days.  Should I be jealous?  You know how I am when you're not open and honest with me.  What you and I have is incredible, and I thank the day that you came into my life.  Hope to hear from you soon, love.

Love, A.

Nick felt his stomach muscles tighten.  Who the hell was Andrew M?  It was obvious that Nat and this man were close, but how close?  Why had she never mentioned Andrew to him?

Nick scrolled down until he found another email from Andrew, clicked on it and begin to read.

My Dearest, Nat.

I wish you were here. I'm having a difficult time, and it sure would be nice to have you with me.  I know it's been a long time, but when I stop and think about our times together, it makes me remember the joy you always brought to my life.  Hey, remember the pillow and tickle fights?  Those were the best of times, Nat. Thanks for being the most understanding person I've ever met. I love you dearly.  Hope to hear from you soon. Better yet, why don't you pay me a visit? We could rekindle some of those old times; popcorn, old movies, even the pillow fights. I'll even share my bed with you, just like old times.

I love you, Nat.

Always,
A.

Nick noticed the date and clicked on Nat's sent mail to see if she had responded, but it was completely empty. He clicked on 'deleted mail' and found the same thing; nothing.  She'd dumped all her sent and deleted mail in the trash.

The two emails had arrived within the last month.  Nick felt as if his heart was being torn to shreds.  The emails were personal, and intimate.  Nick had a difficult time comprehending that Nat might be involved with another man.  The mention of Andrew sharing his bed with Nat haunted Nick's thoughts. It wasn't possible.  He would have smelled another man's sex on her if she'd been unfaithful to him, or would he?

Unfaithful?  Nick snorted in disgust. He'd never made a commitment to Nat, so how could he expect her to be faithful?  He'd actually gone to Janette once, so how could he be pissed at Nat for doing the same?  But it was different. Since meeting Nat, he'd never actually made mortal love to Janette. He'd gone to Janette for her blood.  Janette's blood soothed his hunger, and allowed him to be around Nat. He'd felt so guilty afterwards; guilt to Nat for going to another woman, and to Janette, for using her.  He'd never returned to Janette for blood or sex, not wanting to hurt either of the women he loved.

"Nick?  Did you find something?"  When he didn't answer, Tracy walked up behind him and softly touched his shoulder.  "Nick?"

"Damn it, Trace!  She's seeing another man?"

"What?  I don't believe it!  Not Nat!"

"Yes, Nat.  Damn her!  Look for yourself."  He jumped up from the computer as if it were about to attack him. Check out the last month received emails from an AndrewM.

Trace sat down in the vacated desk chair and clicked on the emails he'd mentioned. She read them, and reread them.  "Nick..."

"There's nothing you can say, Trace. There's the proof. It's right there in black and white."

She walked over to where he was pacing the floor, and grabbed his arms, making him stop, and look at her.  "Listen to me, Nick.  I don't know who this AndrewM guy is, but I don't think it's what it looks like."

"Hell, Tracy, he's even offering to share his bed, 'just like old times'.  If that's not a sign of Nat sleeping with this guy, then I don't know what is."

"Nick!  Stop it!  Nat would never do that.  If you would calm down you would realize it.  Nat doesn't play games, and she sure doesn't bed hop.  She's not the type. No matter what you profess, you two did have a relationship, didn't you?"  When he didn't answer, she shook him. "Didn't you?"

He turned his head, and avoided looking at her, but he didn't pull away. That gave Tracy the encouragement she needed to continue. She couldn't believe Nat would ever go to bed with anyone but Nick. She loved the guy too much.  "Answer me, Nick. If you don't level with me, I can't help you.  After all I'm a woman, and I know how women think, and I sure the hell know Nat.  So tell me, were you two intimate?"

He pulled away from her grasp and walked across the room, turning his back to her as he gazed out the window into the dark night.  "Once." His answer was barely audible, but enough for her to hear him.

"Once?  That's all?"

"It was a few weeks ago, just before Nat disappeared.  We had one beautiful, intimate night together.  It was the most important night of my life."

"What happened, Nick?  Why just the one night?"

He didn't look at her, but continued to look out the window.  "It's complicated, Trace, extremely complicated. It wasn't because we don't love each other.  I know she loves me, but I told her I can't give her what she needs."

"Needs or wants, Nick?  They're two different things."

He turned, and looked at her.  "What does it matter?  To me they're the same."

She walked over to him.  "No they're not, Nick.  You may think you can't give her what she needs, but if I know Nat, what she wants is you.  Your love, your commitment to her."

"Damn it, don't you see?  I can't give her what she wants, but evidently this Andrew can."

"Are you sure; one hundred percent sure?  Because, let me tell you, Nick, I'm not. I don't know who this guy is, but I can bet you that email is not what it appears to be.  If you slept with Nat just a few weeks ago, and she took off shortly after, then she hasn't slept with this guy. The emails came in before she left. I don't know what his 'bed sharing' comment means, but I would bet my life it wasn't about sex."

He took a long and hard look at her, trying to see if she was being honest or just trying to make him feel better. 

 "I'm telling you the truth, Nick. I believe it with all my heart." Tracey grabbed his sleeve.  "Come on. Somewhere around this place there has to be more info on this mysterious Mr. Andrew, so help me search." She pulled him back toward Nat's office.   "Look for envelopes with perhaps his name and address.  If this guy is close enough to Nat for them to have pillow and tickle fights, then I'll bet a weeks salary he's close enough to send her cards or letters."

"Tracy, I'm not sure I want to find any more letters from this guy."

"Well, I do, I don't believe everything I see. You should know that from being such a damn good detective.  Usually what appears to be facts aren't the facts at all.  Now start searching."

Mentally, Nick knew she was right, but emotionally he felt drained. He was scared what secrets he would uncover if he did discover more correspondences from this mystery man. 

"Hey, Jack Pot!  Well, well, well. Now isn't this interesting? It appears our Mr. Andrew is Andrew Murphy who just happens to live in Buffalo." She held up a large envelope.  Before Nick could stop her, she'd pulled the card from its envelope and started to read it aloud.

"Thinking of you."  She opened the card and continued.  "Though miles may separate us, our hearts are forever entwined.  Our paths crossed many years ago, but our lives will travel together until the end of time."  She arched a brow and continued to read Andrew's personal addition.  "Nat, saw this card and it reminded me of you, of us.  Thanks for always being there and loving me unconditionally, as I do you.  Forever, Andrew."

"Well that certainly didn't clear up any misunderstandings, did it?" He smirked.

"No, but I still don't believe this is from a lover.  But we've got more than we had before."

"And what is that?"

She waved the envelope under his nose.  "A person who no one knows about, not even you.  He lives in Buffalo, New York; a place where if Nat wants to disappear, she can, because no one knows about this guy.  My instinct tells me that's where you'll find her."

"She doesn't want to be found, and after finding all of this," he motioned around the office, "I'm not sure I want to find her."

"God, get over it Knight!  Do you love her?"

"That's an unfair question, Tracy.  I do, you know I do, but after..."

"After nothing, Nick! Damn you! She wouldn't have left if you hadn't pushed her away, assuming you knew what was best for her, and not listening to what she wanted and desired!"  Tracy was practically screaming at him. She hit him in the chest with the envelope.  "Just how much do you love her?  Perhaps not enough?"

He glared at her.  "I've never loved anyone or anything as much as I love Nat."

"Then prove it, go find her.  If she does happen to be with this Andrew guy, then fight for her.  Tell him to get lost, that Nat's your woman. Tell Nat you love her, and you want to make her an honest woman.  Don't take no for an answer. And don't forget to get down on one knee when you profess your love to her, and ask her to marry you."

"You seem sure that this is what Nat would want.  I know her well, and she doesn't like to be ordered around."

"You're not ordering her.  You're fighting for your lady, your love.  Hey, regardless of what they say, chivalry is not dead.  Women love the knight in shining armor rescuing them.  It makes them feel special, cherished. Trust me on this one, Knight.  You charge up to Buffalo, claim her as yours forever, and bring her home.  She'll melt faster than a stick of butter on a Miami street in July."

He threw his head back and laughed.  "God, Trace, where do you get these weird analogies?"

She playfully swatted him on the arm.  "I don't know, that one just sort of slipped out, but it made you laugh."

He pulled her into his arms and hugged her.  "Yeah it did.  I hope you're right about this. What if she's not there?"

"We'll deal with that when and if it happens."  She pushed away from his chest and looked at him.  "Nick, whatever you do, don't ever doubt Nat's love and devotion to you.  I don't know what's going on, but I know she's madly in love with you, only you.  A woman can see these things, especially in her best friend.  Please remember that, no matter what you find in Buffalo.  And remember appearances are usually not what they appear to be on the surface. You taught me that."

He pulled her toward him and kissed her forehead.  "Yeah, I did, didn't I?  Okay, I promise, Trace.  Come on, let's get out of here."

"So when are you leaving for New York?"

"Tomorrow night, I have something to take care of here before I bring Nat home."

She arched a brow, waiting for him to elaborate.

Nick knew he needed to give her an answer, even if it weren't the entire truth.  "There's a few things here in Toronto that's made it difficult for Nat and me to be together. I want to see if I can change it before I go and try to bring her home. If she'll give me another chance, I don't want any more obstacles threatening to keep us a part."

"That's all you're going to tell me?"

"Yep."

"Okay, I can live with that answer.  You better not screw this up, Knight, or I'll have to kill you."

"Deal.  And Trace, I'll do everything in my power to find her, and bring her home with me."

"I know you will."  She patted him on the chest, and turned to leave.  Nick clicked off the lights, and locked the door.  He still didn't know what he would say to LaCroix, but somehow he would get his master to release the old debt.  After dropping Tracy back at the station, he planned a visit to the Raven.  It was going to be a long night, perhaps the longest and most difficult night of his eternal life.





***CHAPTER SIX***


On the drive back to the precinct, Nick and Tracy remained silent.  Tracy watched the falling snow as they drove through the city.  She hoped the weather wouldn't prevent Nick's trip to Buffalo.  Nick seemed to be lost in thought, but she understood.  She knew he was deeply disturbed about Nat and this Andrew guy.  She hoped her instincts were right about nothing going on between Nat and this man.  Christmas was only days away, and bringing Nat home would be the best Christmas present Nick could receive.

"So, when are you going to smooth out those things you mentioned earlier?"  Tracy asked.

"As soon as I drop you off at the station."  He picked up his cell phone and dialed the captain's direct number.

"Captain Reese, here."  Nick heard Joe's voice answer the phone. The captain's tone sounded irritated, and distracted.  Nick could hear papers being shuffled, and someone in the background asking Joe a question.

"Captain, Knight here.  Listen, we may have found a lead on Nat. I need to take some time off.  I'm leaving town. Actually I'm leaving the country. We think she's in New York."

"Are you sure, Knight?"  Joe suddenly seemed alert with the news.

Nick glanced at Tracy.  "We discovered the address of a friend no one knew about, not even me.  Tracy is convinced that's where Nat would go, for that very reason."

"I hope Tracy's hunch pays off.  How much time do you need?"

"To be honest, Cap, I'm not sure.  I know it's getting near the Christmas vacation time, and people already have their time logged off. How about a week?"

"Nick, take the week. If you need longer, just let me know.  I'll figure out something to cover your shifts. I'll write this one up as a family emergency."  He chuckled.

Nick smiled.  "Thanks, Cap.  I appreciate your help.  I'm booking off for the rest of the night after I drop Tracy by the station.  I have a few things to do here in Toronto before I leave tomorrow night for Buffalo.  Remember, Cap, don't let anyone know we have a lead.  I don't want Nat getting word, and bolting to God knows where."

"I won't tell anyone.  Just bring her home, and get a damn wedding ring on her finger, will you?"

"If she'll have me, I plan to do just that." He grinned and winked at Tracy even though he still had doubts about finding her with Andrew.  "I'll stay in touch with Trace while I'm gone. She can keep you informed."

"Good luck, Nick.  I hope this has a happy ending."

"Thanks, Joe, me too."  He clicked off his cell phone.  There were obstacles other than finding and bringing her home.  Somehow he had to not only convince LaCroix to release his debt, but ask for his protection from the Enforcers.  The Elders wouldn't approve of his involvement with Nat, and they could possibly order the Enforcers to kill Nat and him.  Maybe he should let Nat go.  Maybe it wasn't even possible to have a relationship with her.  She would be better off to finally be free of vampires and all the complications.

"Nick?'  When he didn't respond Tracy smacked his arm again.  She'd lost track of how many times she'd hit him tonight.  "Nick!"

"Yeah?"

"Please tell me you're not still having doubts about going after Nat." She felt her anger rise when he didn't answer.  "Listen to me, anything worth having in life is worth fighting for, and you know without me telling you that Nat is worth a fight.  I still don't know who this Andrew is or what obstacles have kept the two of you apart, but you said you loved her more than anything.  If I knew a guy loved me like that, nothing could keep me from being with him.  Nothing!  Do you hear me?"

"I hear you Trace." 

"Can you honestly live the rest of your life without her, without ever seeing her, touching her, loving her?  Do you want to?"

Tracy's last question caused his cold dead body to feel as if it were being sliced apart.  The fear of never seeing Nat or holding her in his arms again was too much to comprehend. No, if that happened he didn't want to live, to go on without her.  Walking into the morning sun would be the only way to end the pain of losing her.  As much as he hated the dark hell he lived, his mortal religious beliefs had, in the past, prevented him from considering suicide.  His soul might be damned, but if there was a chance for full redemption, he didn't plan on committing the ultimate sin.  However, if he didn't have Nat in his life, then what would it matter?  His life would be worthless, and so would any redemption or lingering part of his soul that might still exist.  He just didn't care what happened to his damned sorry soul if he lost Nat.

"Nick?"  Tracy's tone was gentler.  "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. I just want Nat back, to be a part of my life.  I love her so damned much, Trace.  She's my life. Without her I can't go on.  I don't want to go on." 

His voice was barely above a whisper, and his words frightened her.  "Nick, after you drop me at the station, why don't you stop by a church, perhaps say a prayer.  Ask God to give you strength.  Remember...faith."

"Faith." He could almost hear Nat say the word.  She really believed that love and faith were all that anyone needed to get through the worst of times.  Perhaps a visit to St. Michael's Church and a prayer would help.  What did he have to lose?

Nick pulled the Caddie next to Tracy's car in front of the precinct.  "Listen, Trace, thanks for everything." He grinned.  "Especially, the butt kicking sessions you've successfully dished out tonight."

"So, did they help?"

"Yes, they did.  I'm even going to stop by St. Michael's and say a prayer."  He grinned.

Tracy gave him a big smile, reached over and hugged his neck.  "Faith." She whispered in his ear, and kissed his cheek.  She didn't say anything, as she stepped out of the car.  Nick grabbed his ice scraper and hurried over to clear her car's windows of the blanketed snow.

"Thanks, Nick."

He smiled. "It's the least I can do after all you've done to help me."

She returned his smile.  "Nick, keep your cell phone charged and turned on, just in case I need to get in touch with you.  I'll do the same.  If I hear anything more, I'll call you.  I plan on doing a security check on our mystery guy, Andrew Murphy.  I'll let you know if I find anything."

"Thanks, Trace."  She opened her car door and got in.  Nick waited until she was safely in her car, and drove away.  He got back in his own car, drove out of the precinct parking lot, and headed toward St. Michael's church. 

Nick's brain raced from one thought to another.  After carefully considering Tracy's comments, and analyzing his feelings for Nat, he realized that she was right.  He would do anything to be with Nat.  'Faith'.  He had to believe Nat still loved him, and this relationship with Andrew wasn't what it appeared to be.

Nick turned into the church parking lot and parked the car.  He turned off the engine, and sat still. The scene in front of him was peaceful.  The snow had started several hours ago, the ground already covered in a thick blanket of white. The large flakes of snow drifting to the ground mesmerized him as he heard the church bells chiming midnight. 

He got out of the car and started walking toward the church.  He recalled how uncomfortable he had been spending an entire day inside, just over a year ago, during a stake out.  Nat had been so worried about him, but he'd managed, with 'faith', and Nat's belief.  Later, he'd held a cross for the first time without it burning his flesh, something most vampires couldn't do. Even the 2000 year old LaCroix couldn't tolerate religious icons or places. 

'Faith.'  He had to believe now, more than ever, and trust in the love he had for Nat.  He took a few more steps closer to the church, looked up at the tall steeple, at the cross that adorned the peak.  "God, have mercy, I beg of you. Help me."  Nick made the sign of the cross over his chest, took a deep breath before slowly walking up the stairs, and through the large, heavy, wooden doors.

Nick felt relieved to find the church entirely empty, which he thought unusual this close to Christmas, even at this hour.  Memories flooded his thoughts of Schanke, his dead partner, who had died a year ago in the airplane crash caused by the bomb explosion.  The last time here, inside this church, he's been with Schanke on the stake out. So much had changed since then.  'Schank, I wish you were here now.  Somehow I know you could help me fix this.'

Nick started to walk down the aisle to the front altar.  Suddenly, he became aware that the feelings of anxiety and impending dread he'd felt a year earlier weren't as intense as he remembered.  'Faith'.  He repeated in his thoughts.  He made the sign of the cross, and lit a candle.  He dismissed the modern tradition, and kneeled at the front altar, and began to pray.  "Dear Lord, our heavenly father..." He took a deep breath. It had been centuries since he'd actually prayed in a church.  The last time he could remember praying, Joan of Arc burned at the stake.  He realized he didn't know what to say. The modern Catholic Church had changed from what he remembered before becoming a vampire. 

What am I doing here?   God, will you even hear my prayers? He silently thought the words.  All of his fears of losing Nat, of not working out their differences, of not being able to protect her from the dangers, flooded his body.  He felt his chest tighten, and if his cold, dead heart could burst, he thought it would.  His eyes began to sting with the threat of blood tears.

Nick looked up at the statue of the Virgin Mary, and reverently bowed his head.  He shut his eyes and began a silent prayer.  God, I don't know if you can hear me or if you want to.  I know I'm no longer a creature of yours, but I truly wish I still were.  I'm so sorry for all of my sins.  I know it's selfish, and I can't imagine you want Natalie to be a part of my life, but if you have any mercy at all, please let me find her.  Even if she won't come home, just let me make sure she's safe.  Please, God, keep her safe...and...let her truly be happy.  Please, I beg of you, give her peace and happiness for the rest of her days, even if it doesn't include me.  Amen.

Nick stood and again made the sign of the cross.  Immediately, all the fears he'd felt evaporated.  He took a few moments to look at the beautiful interior, the statues, and altar cross.  His surroundings brought an inner serenity to him.  He couldn't remember when he'd felt so at peace.  Perhaps it was a sign, a sign from God that everything would work out.  Whatever had caused him to feel this way, he now knew he was ready for that trip to the Raven.  There were still several hours before sunrise, plenty of time to pay a visit to LaCroix.  'Faith'. 




***CHAPTER SEVEN***


Nick parked his car in front of the Raven, and hesitated before going inside.  What could he to say to his master, his so-called father?  He felt anger rush through his entire body.  "Father." He said the word aloud, sarcastically.  What kind of father would deny his son the freedom to claim the woman he loved?  'Master.' That's what LaCroix was, and he never failed to prove it. 

From, the beginning, LaCroix had tried to change him, mold him into what he considered to be a 'proper' vampire, a ruthless killing machine.  As a new vampire, Nick's blood lust had been so great, that he couldn't control it.  LaCroix didn't teach him how to control the hunger.  He'd fed Nick human blood, then starved him until Nick willingly drained his first victim.  Once Nick tasted warm blood fresh from the vein, he'd gone on a killing spree. After a few deaths, it didn't seem to matter how many Nick killed because he felt condemned, his soul eternally lost.

Nick now knew LaCroix could have helped him with leashing his Beast, but instead he'd enjoyed seeing Nick kill.  The hunger, and desire for the blood was an addiction that Nick couldn't deny.  It had taken almost seven hundred years for him to gain enough control to switch to the bland, bovine blood. Now, the occasional human blood he drank was donated. His biggest struggle was still the addiction to drink human, to experience the emotions and a person's life.  He was determined not to consume human for his main diet, it was too addictive, and drinking human strengthened the desire to hunt.  That was dangerous, for him and any mortals he might encounter, including Natalie.

LaCroix constantly berated Nick about his choice of substance, calling the bovine 'that awful swill', but for Nick it meant he could live and work among humans, without the constant desire to drain them.  He'd discovered almost a century ago that by sticking to mostly bovine he could lead a somewhat normal life, the closest to a mortal existence since becoming a vampire. 

He hated LaCroix for locking him into this cold, dead world of darkness.  If only he'd realized the hell of an existence he'd be trapped in for eternity, he wouldn't have chosen this path.  But if he weren't a vampire and immortal, he wouldn't have lived long enough to find Nat.  For that he should thank LaCroix, but what did it matter if LaCroix refused to release him to love her?

Nick could feel, through their blood-bond, that LaCroix was inside the club.  LaCroix hadn't called to him through their link, but waited patiently for Nick to approach.  Nick wondered if he'd made a mistake by not shutting down their shared link for the past few weeks, but he would soon know.  Ever since Natalie left town he'd been too distracted to think about cutting off their mental and emotional connection.

Nick got out of the car, and started to walk toward the Raven.  He still didn't know what he would say to LaCroix, but he knew he couldn't lose his temper and let this turn into a physical confrontation.  Recently, their relationship had improved.  Nick felt it due to his recent demonic possession, and another incident where Nick had saved LaCroix's life.

During the possession, Nat had walked into the room, unaware of the danger.  LaCroix actually stopped Nick's demon-possessed body from choking Nat.  LaCroix talked to Nick, and told him he didn't want to harm her, reminding Nick she was his friend.  By that time Nat realized what was happening, and started talking to Nick as well. Together, LaCroix and Nat had broken through to Nick's conscious mind, allowing the priest to exorcise the demon back to hell.

At the time, Nick wondered why LaCroix stopped him from harming Nat, since his master disapproved of Nick's friendship with the coroner.  But now, after careful consideration, Nick understood LaCroix's actions.  LaCroix knew if any harm ever came to Nat, particularly by Nick's own hands,  it would destroy his son.  This realization started an idea to form in Nick's mind.

Shortly after the demonic possession, Divia, LaCroix's once mortal daughter, and later, vampire sire, reappeared in Toronto after 2000 years.  Determined to kill everyone close to LaCroix, Divia's revenge had been fueled by LaCroix's attempt to destroy her centuries ago.  Her evil had been more than even LaCroix could tolerate. Somehow Divia survived LaCroix beheading and entrapping her in the ancient, Egyptian tomb.  A modern day archeologist unknowingly released Divia from the centuries old grave, and paid with his life. Divia beheaded the archeologist, and left his head in the Raven's bar refrigerator; a sign to LaCroix that she had survived, and would repay him for his actions.

The archeologist's death had been just the beginning.  To get LaCroix's attention, Divia later killed Vachon and Urs, two vampire regulars at the Raven.  Nick wondered how many others Divia killed during her Toronto rampage.  She'd even attacked Nick, leaving him for dead. LaCroix believed Nick survived the attack because Nick still possessed his humanity, his soul, and faith. Nick, knowing Divia would go after LaCroix, rushed to the Raven where he'd prevented Divia from killing LaCroix. For the first time in 800 years, LaCroix told Nick he was thankful Nick still maintained his humanity.  That single incident had been the main turning point of change in their recent relationship. 

Since Divia's destruction, Nick felt closer to LaCroix.  He hoped they could continue to build a father and son bond. Nick knew it wishful thinking on his part, but somehow LaCroix seemed different.  Tonight would be the true test, to see just how much their relationship had changed.

Nick took a deep breath, opened the door to the Raven and walked inside.  Loud music assaulted his sensitive ears; the stinging, smoke drifted up his nose and settled in his eyes, causing him to concentrate on not releasing the vampire.  Even after 800 years his extra sharp senses tended to be easily stimulated, stirring the vampire that always lay dormant within the man.

Nick paused at the top of the stairs, surveying the crowd, noting tonight's patrons were more vampire than mortal.  He removed his sunglasses.  Most mortals assumed he wore the shades at night as a fashion statement, but they actually helped to protect his sensitive eyes from the harsh city and traffic lights.  He tucked the glasses into his black, leather duster's inner pocket, and walked down the steps.

A female vampire noticed Nick's arrival, and cut a direct path through the crowd to approach him.  Her black leather, skin-tight, mini skirt barely covered her ass, and the red silk halter-top left little to the imagination.  Her stiletto heeled feet glided across the dance floor stopping directly in front of him. She gave him a raw sexual look, one that left little doubt as to what she wanted.

Nick could tell she was a fledgling, having not lived more than about thirty years as a vampire.  He smiled at the unknown vampiress, his boyish grin enhancing his natural charisma. 

"Looking for someone to spend time with, Blondie?"  She purred as her hand stroked down his neck and stopped in the middle of his chest.  Before he could answer, her hand continued a lower path.

Nick caught her wrist, brought her hand to his lips, and kissed her smooth, perfumed skin.  He locked eyes with hers.  "Not that the offer isn't a pleasant one, but I'm not here looking for someone to spend time with.  I'm here on business."  He kissed her hand again before releasing it, and walked around her toward the bar.  He wasn't in the mood to deal with prowling females, but he hadn't wanted to be rude to the young vampiress.  One thing he had learned a long time ago, never piss off a female, especially a female vampire.  Several past incidents with Janette flashed through his perfect memory, causing a slight smile.

Vince, LaCroix's main bartender, glanced at Nick as he poured blood-wine, and sat the glass in front of a vampire patron.  He slowly wiped the bar top with a towel as he walked to the end of the bar where Nick stood. "Your usual?" Vince arched a brow, his face twisting into a frown of disgust at Nick's choice of drink.

"Yes, the usual, please." Nick responded, ignoring Vince's display of aversion.

Vince opened the small fridge that held special customer's private choices, and pulled out a bottle of marked bovine blood.  He poured Nick a glass, setting the bottle and glass in front of him.  "I don't know how you drink that shit, Knight.  There's no life in it, no power."

Nick picked up the glass, took a sip, and gave Vince a cocky, crooked smile.  "It's an acquired taste, one I prefer."

Vince gave a half snort of disapproval, and walked to the other end of the bar to take care of newly arrived customers.

Nick continued to sip his bovine, while letting his blood bond seek out LaCroix.  He could feel LaCroix, but even with close inspection he couldn't feel what temperament he would be greeted with.  Just as Nick finished his drink, he felt his father's presence.  He poured another drink, quickly downed the entire glass, and refilled it again.  He turned to see LaCroix walking toward him.  As usual, LaCroix's stoic face didn't reveal anything, but his icy blue eyes were firmly locked on Nick's.

Nick took another sip of his bovine, and moved to meet LaCroix. He leaned close to his master.  "Can we talk, in private?"  Nick whispered, careful no one but LaCroix heard his request.

Silently, LaCroix turned and headed toward the back, private rooms.  Neither man spoke as they walked through the heavily draped opening, and into the long hallway, turning the corner, going up the stairs to LaCroix's private quarters.  Once there, LaCroix opened the door, stepped back, and motioned for Nick to enter before him.

Nick startled with his father's gesture. It had almost been polite.  Usually his father led, expecting Nick to follow.  LaCroix followed Nick into the room. Instead of his customary way of sitting behind his desk, LaCroix walked across the room, poured himself a drink, and sat on the sofa by the lit fireplace. LaCroix crossed his long legs, his fingers lightly tugged at the knee of his immaculate, creased trousers.  He brushed away a few stands of lint with the back of his hand before looking at Nick.

"Have a seat, Nicholas.  Enjoy your drink.  And do tell, what brings you to my establishment this cold winter night?  Is it my company or something else that I might do for you?"  LaCroix tasted his drink, and waited.

Nick sat down in the chair opposite LaCroix.  He took a sip from his own glass, finding it difficult to swallow, his throat tight with anxiety.  He willed himself to relax, and took another drink before answering his father.

"We need to talk."

"About what, my son?"

Nick had an idea LaCroix knew what he wished to discuss, but he also knew LaCroix wouldn't make it easy for him; that wasn't LaCroix's style. "About a very old bargain."

LaCroix raised the glass to his lips, his eyes never left his son.  He sat his glass on the side table, and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, his fingers interlocked, bracing his chin.  "And which bargain would that be?"

Nick hated the mind games his father so enjoyed.  But he would play the game.  He wouldn't lose his temper.  "You know which one. The one made 800 years ago.  I'll come right to the point and be honest with you.  What can I do to persuade you to release me from a bargain made in haste, and without thought of the future?"

LaCroix sat back, and leaned into the sofa cushions, but his cold eyes never broke their connection with Nick.  "Why would you want me to dismiss a bargain that was meant to repay me for my loss?"

Nick looked directly at LaCroix.  "Because you are my father, and I am your son.  A father should always do what is best for the son, no matter if the father agrees with the son's choice or not."

"I see." LaCroix arched a brow.  "And just what might be best for this son who wishes to be free of repayment?"

"No more games, LaCroix!"  Nick sat his glass on the side table, and jumped from his chair.  He started to pace the length of the sofa.

"Sit, Nicholas!"  LaCroix's voice was cold and commanding.

Nick stopped.  He let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding, and dropped back down in the chair.

"Nicholas, I've felt your turmoil these last weeks.  I know it concerns your good doctor friend."

'Damn, he knows, probably knows all.' Nick thought.  Honesty.  Faith.  He had to have hope.  "If you know it concerns Natalie, then you know everything, LaCroix.  I won't deny it any longer.  I love her.  I've never loved another like I love her.  She is my life, and without her I don't care if I live to see another night."

"Oh, such passion.  Your heart has truly been touched."

Nick looked at his father, not knowing what else he could say.  "Yes, it's been touched as it never has before, nor will be again.  I need her to survive.  She fills me with peace, and taught me faith, hope, and love."

"And what hope is that, my son?"

"That perhaps with her in my life, I can be content with this existence."

"And what of my existence?  Do you not think that I have felt empty for 800 years?  I gave up your sister at your request.  You promised me your one true mortal love, and I believe that is Dr. Lambert."

"LaCroix, I'm thankful you didn't take my sister as your own. She would never have survived the transition."

"Ahhh, but that is your opinion. She knew what we were, and was willing to join us for an eternity. If I had not granted your request, then my true love would be beside me today.  Why should I give her up, but allow you your love?"

"LaCroix, she would never have survived a week as a vampire.  Think back...remember.  That night in the garden when Fleur pricked her finger on the rose thorn, you kissed it, and tasted her blood.  Yes, I saw you taste her blood. It was but one drop, but remember, I beg of you.  Fleur was a gentle soul, scholarly, but gentle.  She couldn't harm a butterfly, yet you think she could have survived as a vampire, killing humans to survive?  No, it would have destroyed her." 

Nick paused hoping his words were recalling that long ago night.  "Fleur was a vegetarian. But you didn't know that did you?  When she was a child, she witnessed the Autumn pig slaughter.  From that day forward she wouldn't eat meat, nor fish.  Did you not see that in her blood?  I beg of you, LaCroix, remember what you saw in her blood, and do what is right."

For the first time since Nick's arrival, LaCroix dropped his eyes to the floor.  Nick hoped that somewhere in LaCroix's perfect vampire memory he would recall the truth.  "LaCroix, she would have died from starvation.  She would not kill, nor allow you to feed her from harvested blood, not even animal.  I'm sorry for your loss, and there's a part of me that wishes Fleur was here today, to be a part of both our lives, but it wasn't meant to be.  If you had taken her by force, she would have starved until she went mad or gone on a killing spree.  I knew my sister well. Once she realized what she'd done, she would have destroyed herself.  There's nothing you could have done to save her."

"And now for this, you want me to dismiss our bargain?"

"Partly, but there's more.  Fleur did love you.  She wouldn't approve of such a bargain. How do you think she would react to this demand you insist from her brother?  Do you think she would still love you knowing how you are using her life against mine?  Can't you let the pain go, and accept what was never meant to be?  It wasn't her destiny to become a vampire, to become a killer, to live an eternity."

LaCroix's eyes again locked with Nicks, still not revealing any emotions other than regret.  Nick didn't know if he was making progress in changing his father's mind, but he had to continue trying.  "I'm your son, LaCroix.  From the beginning you've told me you love me as if I were your flesh.  You've claimed me for 800 years as your blood son.  All I'm asking from you is to show me your love, for once in this eternal relationship.  You have the power to make my existence brighter, to allow me to love the one woman who has touched not only my heart, but my soul."

"And how do you plan to love a mortal, Nicholas?  You know that is not permanently possible. Sooner or later she will be destroyed at your hands, or you'll bring her across.  Will you make her into the same thing you profess to hate so much?"

"I will not lie to you, LaCroix.  I don't know, but somehow Nat and I will work it out. She's taught me that anything is possible through love and faith.  I haven't asked her, but I strongly believe if given the choice, she would join my world if it were the only way for us to be together.  At one time I would never have considered bringing her into this darkness, but with her by my side through eternity, somehow eternity doesn't seem like hell. With Natalie beside me, the darkness would once again radiate with light. But it has to be her decision.  Nat knows so much more than Fleur ever did about vampires.  She wouldn't be entering this world blindly."

"And if she refuses to join our world?"

"Then my life is forfeited to destiny, because without her I chose not to live."

LaCroix sat quietly, studying his son.  "You would destroy yourself over this mortal woman?"

Nick didn't hesitate with his response.  "Yes.  No matter how much I hate this life, I've never considered suicide, not before meeting Natalie.   But, without her in my life, I have no life.  Nothing matters without Nat, not even my condemned soul, if I still have one."  Nick rubbed the back of his neck several times, before dropping his hand at his side in defeat.  "I always thought suicide would condemn what soul I had left, if there was one." He chuckled.  "Imagine a vampire who is worried about condemning his soul to hell, when he's already condemned."

For the first time LaCroix's face softened.  The right side of his upper lip curled in a half smile.  "Only you, Nicholas, only you."

Nick allowed himself to relax a bit.  "It's who I am, LaCroix.  I've been completely open with you tonight. If you need further proof, I'll allow you to take my blood."

LaCroix froze. His eyebrows knitted together, as his forehead wrinkled. 

Nick noticed the surprised look on LaCroix's face at his offer.  He knew his father enjoyed sharing their blood. The blood sharing reconnected their bond, making it stronger.  It allowed LaCroix to more easily spy on Nick's thoughts and emotions.  It had been several weeks since his father had shared blood with Nick.  The last time being when Nick was shot in the head. His father's blood had healed him faster than regular blood, but during the exchange Nick's most private thoughts and feelings had been exposed to LaCroix.  Nick knew that incident had allowed LaCroix to see his true feelings for Natalie.  The longer the time between blood sharing the less intense the bond. Nick didn't want to do this, but if it allowed LaCroix to know he spoke the truth, then he would sacrifice his privacy.  Nick held his breath, waiting for his father's response.

"No, that won't be necessary, Nicholas.  I owe you, my son."

Nick gave him a questioning look.

"Your mortal love's life in exchange for saving my own life, not once but twice.  I haven't forgotten the time, many centuries ago, that you pulled the stake from my wounded heart.  Recently, again, you saved me, this time from Divia.  When we shared blood after the gunshot wound to your head, I saw many things.  We cannot deny what we are or how we feel. Blood doesn't lie. Though I've treated you unfairly through time, you are always there when I need you, Nicholas.  You love me as I do you."

Nick couldn't believe what he'd just heard his father admit. 

LaCroix stood and walked to his son.  "Go, find your Natalie. And if you can, bring her home. I release you from the bargain, my son.  I wish you luck."

Nick gave him a surprised look.

"I know all about Natalie's departure from Toronto.  Nicholas, we have no secrets."

"You knew the reason for my visit before I arrived?"

"Of course, you are my son."

Nick stood.  "Are you being totally honest with me?  Is the bargain truly forever void?"

"Forever.  I will not harm Natalie Lambert.  If she chooses to return with you, she will be under my protection.  If you do indeed succeed in having a relationship with her, then she will be family."

Nick couldn't believe what he'd just heard.  This was more than he'd ever considered possible.  LaCroix had even offered Nat's protection without him asking.  Nick pulled LaCroix into a firm embrace.  "Thank you, father.  Thank you for releasing me, and allowing me to seek what happiness I can."

LaCroix returned the embrace.  He reluctantly pushed his son out of his arms. "Perhaps I can help further."

"How?"

LaCroix looked at him.  "There is knowledge that I can share with you that might help this situation."  LaCroix unbuttoned his shirtsleeve and offered his wrist to Nick.

Nick couldn't help the suspicious look he gave his father. He wondered if this might be a new game his sire was playing.

As if LaCroix knew his thoughts, he answered.  "There is knowledge in my blood, Nicholas.  I haven't taught you everything I know.  Perhaps I should have before now."

Nick thought he heard regret in LaCroix's voice.  "Take my blood and gain what you need."

Nick felt undecided about taking LaCroix's blood.  He constantly tried to distance the bond he had with his father, but if LaCroix truly wished to improve their relationship, and share knowledge, he would be a fool to turn down the gift.

"Nicholas, I speak the truth.  If you find your Natalie, this knowledge will help you with whatever decisions you must make.  I know you don't like the close connection I have with you when I take your blood.  That is why I refused your offer.  Take my blood as a gift.  You know when blood is taken one way between vampires it's the receiver who benefits, not the giver.

Nick stepped toward his sire.  Neither man spoke as each searched the others eyes.  Nick opened his bond with his father and instantly felt warm emotions, no trace of malice.  He took LaCroix's wrist.  "I'm going to trust you, LaCroix.  I may regret this, but I sincerely hope not."  Nick slowly bit into his father's wrist, and drank deeply.  He saw what LaCroix wanted him to see.  He could feel his father still holding back some things, perhaps from habit.  Nick retracted his fangs from LaCroix's wrist, lapping the last droplets of blood from the wound in a show of appreciation.  After what his father shared, he wouldn't be impersonal with the taking of his blood.

"Why now, LaCroix."  Nick truly didn't know why his sire had changed.

LaCroix rolled down his sleeve and buttoned it.  "Perhaps I grow weary with our relationship, and hope it can be improved."

"You truly want this?" Nick felt hopeful that things could change between them.

"Nicholas, you tasted my blood."

"I can't promise you anything, LaCroix, but I can try if you do."

"Fair enough, Nicholas."  His lips curled up in his familiar half smile.  "If you need further help, you know how to contact me."

Nick smiled.  "Thank you."  He walked to the door, pausing with his hand on the doorknob.   "And LaCroix?"

"Yes, Nicholas?"

"Not only are you my father, you're my oldest friend."

Before LaCroix could say anything Nicholas left the room.  Nick's heart felt truly lighter than it had in centuries.  Not only was he free to find and love Natalie, but also for the first time in 800 years, he truly did feel as if LaCroix was his father.




***CHAPTER EIGHT***


Nick parked the Caddie in the circle drive in front of the old, Victoria Inn.  When he'd discovered the possibility of Nat being in Buffalo he'd immediately booked a room at the inn.  The white ornate establishment looked as if it were trapped in time from a gentler day.  The wide veranda wrapped from one side of the building, across the front entrance, and to the other side. During warmer months, he knew large, lush ferns would be hanging from swinging baskets, strategically placed around the veranda's porch, and white rocking chairs would hold dark green velvet cushions. He had visited the establishment many times when in the area, always pleased to see nothing had changed in over one hundred years.  Nick could remember first visiting this establishment in the late 1800s, when ladies with long white dresses graced the entrance.  Such carefree, casual days were gone, replaced by the fast paced world of modern day technology. 

He'd enjoyed his visit in 1898, when Victoria DeLong, an old mortal friend who was long dead, had owned the establishment. Victoria was an accomplished concert pianist in her day.  But by the time they'd become friends, she'd retired from her profession, and opened the hotel to spend her remaining days entertaining for its patrons.  Nick remembered how people would come to stay a day or two just to be able to hear her musical magic.

Nick closed his eyes.  He could almost see Victoria sitting in front of the large window, her long, white hair twisted in a bun atop her head, her pale fingers gliding across the piano keys as the notes of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata filled the night air. He mused at how that one piece of music seemed to always play an important roll in his life.  It had been the first song he'd played for Natalie during her first visit to his loft.

Nick was startled from his reminiscing by the smell of roses.  "Follow your heart, Nicholas, or you shall never be happy or live your destiny." His eyes flew open, expecting to see Victoria sitting beside him.  The words had sounded so real, just as she had spoken them many times over a century ago. The scent of rose water the same as she'd worn. He was disappointed when the harsh reality of the cold winter night crashed his pleasant memories.  The experience had been so vivid; it seemed real. 

"Oh, Victoria, I do hope you're right, my old friend."  He hoped wherever her soul might be, she knew he'd never forgotten her or the many times they'd spent at the piano, playing duets, and laughing until dawn.  He'd never shared his secret that he was a vampire, and she'd never pried into his private life. 

The last time he'd seen Victoria, they'd played the piano until the wee hours of the morning, then sat on the veranda sipping drinks and talking about life in general. Victoria had looked at him and taken his hand in hers.  'You have such a sad soul, Nicholas.  But one day you shall find what you seek, and with it find the light of your heart.' Her words were forever etched upon his memory. 

Yes, he'd found that light, but it wasn't what he thought it would be.  Nat.  He'd wanted mortality, forgiveness, to walk in the sun again, but with loving Nat, he'd found so much more.  With Nat in his life, it didn't matter that he was an undead creature of the night.  Nat made him feel alive, and her very existence brought more light into his life than the sun ever could.

He took a rare deep breath, and released it.  He felt some of the anxiety slip away, but his nerves were still on edge.  What would he say if he found Nat here in Buffalo, with this Andrew?  He was still unsure about tracking her down, but he had to try to salvage what he could of their relationship.  He hoped it wasn't already too late to make amends for his lack of commitment. He hoped she would understand how much he cared for her...loved her.  After all, hadn't he spent almost two weeks searching for her?  Had it been only a month since they'd made love?  It seemed like an eternity.  Every detail of that special night was forever etched in his perfect memory.  God, he'd been a fool for not trying to continue the relationship with her.  She would just have to realize he'd been a complete ass to push her away; that he'd done so trying to protect her, that he'd done it because he loved her, more than life.

The valet parking attendant greeted Nick.

"Welcome to the Victoria.  May I park your car, sir?"

"That won't be necessary.  I'll be leaving as soon as I check in. I do need my bags from the trunk delivered to my room."  Nick gave the car keys to the young man. 

After checking in and making sure his bags would be taken to his room, Nick exited out the front door, where the attendant gave him his car keys.  Nick got back into his car, picked up the card Andrew had sent Nat, and read the address. He knew the city from his past visits, and recognized the location.  There were still many hours before dawn.  He'd decided not to wait to pay Andrew a visit. The sooner he found out if Nat was there, the quicker he could take action.

Twenty minutes later Nick found himself outside Andrew's home, afraid of what he would find inside. He had to do this.  He had to know.  Different scenarios raced through his mind; Nat with another man, another man making love to her.  Nick felt his anger unleash his vampire. He should have fed before confronting Andrew. He needed the blood to help him remain in control. He reached for his flask, and remembered it was empty.  He considered leaving and returning later, but the unknown was eating at his very soul.  He had to know if she was here.

Nick didn't remember walking from the car to the condo, but now he stood at Andrew's door.  His sensitive hearing detected Nat's familiar heartbeat.  She was here.  He'd finally found her.  He pushed the doorbell and waited.  His chest tightened as he heard Nat's heartbeat grow louder as she approached the door.  He tried listening for another heartbeat, but all he could hear was Nat and Christmas music.

The door opened.  Nat stood frozen.  Their eyes locked.  Neither spoke for what seemed like an eternity.  He could see the shocked look on her face.

"Surprised to see me, Nat?"  He hadn't meant to speak so harshly, but his anger was barely under control.

"Nick?"

He walked past her, and entered the condo before she had a chance to slam the door in his face. He was a bit startled by the remodeling mess. He wasn't sure what he'd expected, but it hadn't been to find Nat in the middle of paint cans, drywall dust and drop clothes covering furniture. It seemed to take a minute for her to realize he'd entered the room.  He saw her slowly shut the door.  Natalie walked toward him, but kept a safe distance between them.

"What are you doing here, Nick?  How did you find me?"

"I'm sure you thought I didn't know about Andrew, but you're wrong, Nat.  I know all your dirty little secrets."  Damn, he hadn't wanted to confront her with anger. He'd planned on professing his love and begging her to come back to Toronto with him. He'd even thought about asking her to spend a few days at the Victoria with him before they returned home.

She didn't say anything, but he saw her angry glare.

"How is Andrew?  Sharing his bed again?'  He pulled the card from his pocket and tossed it at her.

She caught the card, and looked at it.  He saw she recognized the incriminating evidence.  "How dare you!" She shouted.

"How dare I?  What about you?  You who profess to love me.  You run off the first chance you get, straight to another man's arms!"  He felt the vampire clawing for release.  "And what's this?"  He motioned around the room at the remodeling mess.  "Making the love nest a little more cozy?"

"You arrogant bastard!  How dare you pry into my private life?"

"I thought I was your private life, but I was wrong!  Boy was I wrong!  All the way here, I wanted to find you, but I prayed you wouldn't be here with him." He clenched his jaw muscles, trying to hold back the vampire.  Each angry word she threw at him brought the beast closer to release.  He could feel his eyes changing; his canines tingled with anticipation of release.

"I can't believe you!  You have no right to question my actions!"

"Oh, I have ever right!  You're mine, Natalie!"  Nick knew he was going over the edge, but he couldn't control it. The vampire had surfaced. His eyes were golden, and his fangs had dropped.  She was his, and he would let no other have her.

"How dare you!  You don't own me!  And if I recall, you gave up whatever right you had when you pushed me out of your life!  Well, guess what?  I don't need a possessive ass like you charging into my life whenever it's convenient for you!"  She started to turn her back, but he grabbed her.

"Don't you ever turn your back to me!  You are mine, and I plan on taking you with me."

"Like hell..." Before Nat could say more, he pushed his body into hers and pinned her to the wall.  His hands held hers tight above her head.  His mouth came crashing down on to her lips, and roughly kissed her.  He could feel his fangs pushing against her lip, but enough of the man surfaced that stopped him from breaking the skin and drawing her blood.  He could feel her struggling against him, and it only stirred his anger, and desire.  Finally he broke the kiss, raising his head enough to look at her. 

"You bastard!  Let me go, Nick!"

"Are you afraid, Nat?  Afraid that I'll take what I want?  You belong to me, and I won't allow another man to have you."  His face was inches away from hers.

"Damn you!  You 'are' an arrogant bastard!  Let me go!"

"Never!"  He kept her body pushed tight against his, her back to the wall, her hands still held tight over her head. He leaned down and nuzzled her neck, drawing in her scent. He felt her quiver at his action.  The vampire relished the sensation.  He licked sensuously up her neck, stopping at her earlobe.  He carefully sucked at the delicate skin behind her ear, and shifted both her hands to one of his, freeing his other hand to stroke across her breast. He could tell she didn't wear a bra, and felt her nipple hardened under her shirt.

"Can he arouse you as quickly as I do?"  Nick's hand dropped and stroked across her abdomen, dropping lower, teasing just above mound.  He felt her body unwillingly arch toward his hand.  Her response gave him satisfaction.  "Does he make your body wet with desire?  Can he make you scream his name as you come, Nat?"  He whispered in between his tongue stroking behind her ear.

"Stop it, Nick."  Her words were breathy, barely a whisper.

"Never.  I'm going to show you who you really want, Nat."

"I'm not afraid of you, Nick."

Her comment made him smile. She thought he was trying to scare her.  "You should be."  He whispered before pushing back enough to look at her.  "You should be very afraid."  He purposely opened his mouth to let her see his deadly fangs. 

"I've never been afraid of you.  You won't harm me.  Now let me go."  Her voice was steady and controlled.  She was no longer shouting or struggling to get free. 

Nick moved his hand upward and held her chin firmly.  "You're mine, and I plan on making it that way permanently."  He growled, releasing the vampire in full force.  He started to lower his mouth toward her neck. 

"Nick!  Don't do this!  Please!"

Nick reared his head back.  "No, Nat, I'm going to do what I should have done a long time ago. This is what you want.  You even asked me once to bring you across.  You wanted a relationship, and you shall have it. This is what I am.  You need to know I don't share what is mine, and neither does my beast."  He leaned down, his mouth again covering the pulse point on her neck.  He allowed his fangs to lightly push against her skin.

"Nick, stop!  I'm pregnant!"  Nat screamed with fear.

Nick felt as if his dead heart had been ripped from his chest.  He froze.  He took a deep breath and raised his head and stared at her. 

"I'm pregnant, Nick.  Please let me go."  Nat pleaded.

Her words were as sobering as if cold water had been thrown in his face.  Nick pushed away from her. His eyes immediately changed back to their natural blue, and his fangs retracted. The man was back in control. 

Nat slid down the wall, sitting on the floor. She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them tight. He looked down at her.  "You're..." He couldn't say the word.

She looked up at him.  "Pregnant." The tears started flowing down her cheeks.  She looked away from him.

"Nat, why all the shouting?"

Nick turned around.  A wet, naked man stood across the room, holding a towel around his lower body.  He'd been so angry that he hadn't heard the other heartbeat. His full attention had been directed at Nat.

"Who are you?  What have you done to Nat?"  The man started walking toward Nick.

"Andrew I assume?"

"Yeah, what of it?"  Andrew squatted next to Nat.  He tenderly rubbed her shoulder.  "Hon, are you alright?"

"I'm fine."  She finally looked at Nick.  "Just go, Nick."

Andrew looked up at the blonde man standing over them.  "So you're Nick.  I don't know what you did to her, but I think you better go."

Nick ignored the handsome man squatting beside Nat.  "Natalie, I'm sorry.  I'm so sorry.  I let the anger..."

"Not now, Nick, just go."

"Please, Nat, we need..."

Natalie looked up at him, the tears continued to run down her cheeks. The front of her shirt wet where they'd fallen.  "No, Nick.  I don't have anything to say to you. Just please leave.  Just leave me alone."

Nick didn't say anything as he watched Andrew slowly help Nat to her feet. He held the towel around his waist with one hand, his free arm pulled Nat to his chest, his hand gently stroking her back.

"Nick, I think you should leave.  Now isn't the time." Andrew waited for Nick's reaction.

Nick felt a lump in his throat.  He'd lost control.  The vampire had toyed with her, teased her, and had wanted to claim her as his.  God, he'd screwed this up, and now this man was holding her, comforting her.  It should be him holding her, not Andrew. 

Nick took a deep breath, and walked toward the door, his shoulders slumped forward in defeat.  He opened the door, but stopped to look over his shoulder at the couple still standing across the room.  His eyes locked with Nat's.  "I'm sorry, Nat."  He stepped into the hall and turned around to pull the door shut.  "No matter what has happened, I still love you."  He paused, taking one last look at her before walking out the door.

Andrew tied the towel around his waist, and pulled Nat into his arms, stroking her hair.  "Hon, shhh, its okay."

"Oh, Andrew, its not okay; it'll never be okay again."  Nat sobbed into his chest.  "My life is a mess."  She pulled free of his embrace.  "I have to go."

"Go where, Nat?  I thought it was settled, you're moving in with me. We'll deal with the pregnancy together.  This remodeling should be finished in a couple of weeks.  We'll have room for a nursery, and..."

"Don't you see, Andrew?  Nick will never leave me, us alone.  Him finding me has changed everything.  I can't stay here with you, no matter how much I wish to."

"Yes you can, Nat. I won't let him near you if that's what you want.  I don't give a damn if he is a cop, this is my home and if you don't want him here, he's not welcome.  I'll file a restraining order if I have to."

"Oh, Andy, you have no idea what you're dealing with.  If Nick wants to get to me, he will.  Nothing can stop him."

Andrew looked at her hard for the first time since her arrival.  "Nat, has he ever physically abused you?  I know you said his father is a dangerous man, but if Nick..."

"Oh, God, no!  It's not that at all.  Nick would never harm me. Never!  You have to believe that.  He would give his life to protect me.  But he can be very determined, and if he wants to see me, he will.  But he would never harm me.  Please, Andrew, believe this.  I don't want you thinking that about Nick."

"Alright, Nat, I believe you. But where will you go?"

"I can't tell you.  If you don't know you can't tell Nick."

"I would never betray you, Nat, you know that."

"Trust me when I say, Nick has his ways.  He can be very determined and sly to get the information he wants.  He found me here, didn't he?  There's a cabin that I can go to until I figure out what I want.  I need time alone to think."

"Nat, how will I know you're safe?  Damn, it's the middle of December.  They're predicting snow.  You don't need to be driving to a cabin."  He grinned, trying to lighten her mood.  "Besides, I was hoping you would spend Christmas here with me."

"Oh, Andrew, that would have been wonderful, but I can't stay now. I need time, time to think without seeing Nick.  I'll be fine.  I'll call you when I arrive.  I promise.  But I have to leave here first thing in the morning.  Nick can't follow me then because of his skin condition, remember?"

"Okay, Nat.  But promise me you'll call, and when the dust settles you'll reconsider coming back to me."  He pulled her back in to his arms, and kissed her temple.  "I was just getting used to the idea of playing 'daddy'."  He chuckled, hoping to change her mood.

"Andrew?" 

"Hmmm?"  His hands stroked the length of her back, trying to calm her.

"You're an incredible man, and I love you very much."

"I love you, Nat, and I always will."




***CHAPTER NINE***


Nick arrived back at the Victoria Inn, absolutely miserable.  He realized he'd probably totally destroyed any hope of ever getting Natalie back.  The worse part, now she was pregnant.  Flashes of Andrew's arms comforting her, the tender way he touched her, kept flashing in Nick's mind.

Nick opened the mini-fridge, and grabbed a bottle of blood.  He pulled the cork out with his teeth, and started to guzzle like a dying man in a desert.  He realized too late that he should have fed before searching for Nat, but as usual his impatience played against him.  He couldn't wait to find her. He'd needed to know if she was with Andrew.  He took another swig of the bovine. 'Well, now I know.  She finally has everything I can't give her.'

Nick's cell phone rang several times before he noticed.  A brief thought that it could be Nat crossed his mind, but his heart knew she wouldn't call, not after the way he'd treated her.

"Knight."  Nick waited, still a small flicker of hope that it would be Nat calling.

"Nick, did you find Nat?"  Tracy's voice impatiently asked.

"Oh yeah, I found her."

"And?  Come on, Nick, details!"

"Not good, Trace."  His voice sounded ever bit as defeated as he felt.  He took another swing from the green bottle.

"Nick!  What happened?"

Nick paused.  He knew Trace would scream and yell at him when he told her what he'd done.  "I screwed up, Trace.  I found Nat with Andrew.  I lost my temper.  Trace, I'm coming home.  Tell the captain I'll be back at work tomorrow night.

"No!  You listen to me Nick Knight!  You're not coming home without Nat!  I don't know what happened, but you need to go back to her. Tell her you're sorry.  Listen, I'm still checking out Andrew Murphy. It seems he's a model and part time actor.  He's done a few jean commercials, and even a cologne ad that ran in all the top magazines.  He's had a few parts on a couple of the major daytime soaps.  Last acting job, he played a detective."  Trace couldn't disguise her amusement at that.  Nick heard her soft chuckle. "But that's all I know about him, except..."

"Except what?  What are you not tell me?"

"He's single, never been married, and he's lived at his current address for about seven years."

"Well, after meeting the guy I can see why he's a model and actor.  The guy is definitely gifted with his looks.  I got a chance to see more of his attributes than I'd ever care to."

"Huh?  You want to explain that one?"

"Not really. But I can see why a woman would be attracted to the guy, even Nat."

"Nick, stop it!  Have you looked in the mirror lately?  Partner, you're not half bad yourself."

"Thanks, Trace, but I wasn't fishing for compliments."

"I know, but it's the truth.  Don't you ever notice how all the women, including some of the married ones, at the precinct flirt with you?  You can't be ignorant to it."

"Trace, I've never really noticed."

"That's because you only have eyes for Nat.   Listen, did you tell Nat how much you love her?"

"Yeah, I told her."

"And that didn't work?"  Tracy took a deep breath.  "Nick, did you tell her she's your life, that you can't live without her?"

"Trace, it wouldn't have mattered."

"Why, Nick?  I'm trying to understand this."

"Damn it, Tracy!  She's with another man, and pregnant!"

"What?"

Nick didn't want to repeat the words.  It was too painful thinking of Nat in the arms of another man.

When he didn't answer, Tracy asked again.  "Nick, what did you say?"

"You heard me the first time, she's going to have a baby."

"Oh, Nick!  I don't know what to say.  How do you feel about this?"

"I still love her, Tracy, but Andrew can give her what I can't.  Actually, he's already given her what I could never give her, a child."

The phone was silent for what seemed forever.  "Nick?"

"I'm still here, Trace."  His voice was low, full of sadness.

"Promise me something?"

"I'm not sure I can."  Nick didn't know what she was going to ask of him, and he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"No, Nick, swear you'll do what I'm about to ask you.  You owe me this one for helping you."

Nick sighed.  When Tracy pulled out the 'guilt' card, he knew he was in trouble.  "Okay, Tracy, what do you want?"

"Remember me telling you that things aren't always what they appear to be?"  Before he could argue she rushed to finish.  "It's still possible this entire thing is a big misunderstanding.   Did you find out who Andrew is to Nat?  Maybe he's a relative?"

"No, Nat doesn't have any relatives. She's mentioned that several times, especially since her brother died.  But it doesn't matter, not anymore.  Nat told me tonight she wanted me to leave her alone."

"No, buts, Nick! Promise me you'll go see Nat one more time before you come home. But, this time don't lose your temper."

"God, Trace, what do you not understand?  Nat's pregnant.  She told me herself, twice.  Nat wouldn't lie about this.  Its too important."

Another long pause filled the phone before Tracy nervously asked.  "Nick...could this be your baby?  You said you made love. It's possible that..."

"No, Trace.  I can't father children."

"Are you so sure?  There are a lot of babies born to parents that are told that.

When he didn't answer, Tracy's voice screamed across the phone.  "Nick!  God, no wonder Nat's mad, especially if this child is yours.  How do you think she feels knowing you didn't care enough to consider you're the father?  Damn it, Nick, what am I going to do with you?"

"Tracy, I don't think..."

"Nick, shut up and listen to me!  You have to go see Nat.  You'll never forgive yourself if you don't.  Just stop and think for a damned minute.  What if this child is yours?  Did she tell you that Andrew was the father?"

"No."

"Nick, you have to do this. Swear to me you won't come home until you see her again.  And Nick?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't you dare ask her who's the father?  Trust me, that won't go over very well.  Try to get her to talk about the baby.  Ask her how far along is her pregnancy.  That shouldn't upset her.  If Nat's been faithful, asking about the father will really hurt her."

Nick's thoughts were racing. The one night they'd made love, he'd performed as a mortal man.  Earlier, he'd eaten food, something that usually made him sick.  Several times that night they'd made love, and he'd never needed or taken her blood.  God, was it possible that somehow he had got Nat pregnant?

"Oh, Trace, if this is possible, how am I ever going to fix this?  Tonight, when I saw her, I was totally out of control.  She'll never forgive me for the things I said or did."

"Listen to me, Nick.  I know Nat.  She does love you. I still don't know who this mystery man is, but if this baby is yours, she'll tell you.  Nat's not a devious woman.  She would never keep that knowledge from you."

"Okay, Tracy, I promise.  It's late, but I'll go see her the first thing tomorrow night."

"Swear it?"

Nick smiled.  "Swear, cop's honor."

"Nick?"

"Yeah, Trace?"

"Remember, Trust, but also Love, Hope, and Faith."

Thanks, Tracy."

"Any time, partner.  Now go get some sleep. You have a busy night tomorrow."  Tracy chuckled, trying to lift Nick's spirits.

"Night, Tracy."  He clicked off his cell phone.

A baby.  Could it be possible that he'd fathered Nat's child?  God, please let it be true.  Just the possibility of her being pregnant was enough to excite him.  Could it be true that Nat had been faithful, and not been intimate with Andrew?  "Damn, I've really been an ass."

Nick felt tired, but the nervous tension had him wired. There was no way he'd ever fall asleep tonight.  He grabbed his leather duster and headed out the door.  He had some serious thinking to do. 

Nick left the inn out the back entrance, and headed for the formal gardens.  He hoped no one would be there this late.  He needed solitude, to think about what Tracy had suggested. The gardens of the Victoria were extensive, covering several acres.  He always felt as if it were a world of its own. Even in winter they could be enchanting with the many marble statues and architectural details.

Nick walked down the hill to the entrance.  He stopped and read the large, scroll words on the tall wrought iron archway: 'Victoria's Garden'.  He smiled remembering several moon light strolls he'd taken with the lady who had created this lovely establishment.  "Follow your heart, Nicholas."  Nick felt his chest tighten. This was the second time tonight he'd heard her words.

"Victoria?"  He waited, hoping for a response. But only the sound of icy falling snow echoed through the night.  In the distance, he heard a tree limb crack, but nothing more.  "Victoria, I sure could use your advice."  He felt a bit foolish talking to no one, but after his past experience with the ghosts last year, he knew anything was possible.  He didn't know why he kept hearing her voice,  perhaps it was his imagination, and fatigue.  He hadn't slept well since Nat left Toronto.

He entered the gate and walked deeper into the garden.  The area was lit with small twinkling lights that made the entire garden seem magical.  The only proof that anyone had been here were the small footprints of children.  He tilted his head and let the snowflakes drift across his face.  It reminded him of another snowy Christmas when he and Nat strolled through the park one late night.  Nat's excitement had been so child like with wonder.  She'd insisted they lay in the snow making snow angels.  He smiled at the memory, and the wonder of how she could talk him into doing almost anything.  God, he loved her!  If she would come back to him, he'd forever do anything she asked of him, and never complain, even drink her nasty protein shakes.

"Oh, Nat, I do love you."  Nick kept his eyes shut, his face turned upward.  He allowed all the memories of their special, intimate night to flow through his perfect senses.  He could feel her every touch, and taste every part of her body as if it were happening now.

"About time you stopped professing 'we're just friends'.

Nick's eyes flew open.  His mind had to be playing tricks.  There was no way he was actually hearing voices.  This time he didn't respond as he had earlier to Victoria's words.  He tucked his hands in his pockets and started to leave.

"Hey, don't you dare walk away.  I've gone to a lot of trouble to get here."

He couldn't deny the voice any longer.  "Schanke?"

"Who else, partner?  Yeah it's me!"

"Schanke?"  Nick asked again in disbelieve.

"Over here, Nick!"

Nick spun around, but didn't see anyone.  He scanned the area with his keen eyesight, but still no one.

"Nick, buddy, are you blind?  I'm over here."

Nick turned in the opposite direction, but all he saw was the large snowman. 

"Yep, it's me partner, old Frosty himself."

"Schanke?"

"Would you stop calling me?  Come here, I won't give you frost bite.  Come closer.  Man oh man, we need to talk, Nicky Boy."

"You're a snowman?  I don't understand.  You can't be here.  Its impossible."

"Listen, in 800 years, you've had to see some strange stuff. I mean come on; even you're strange.  Well, you know what I mean.  A vampire, Nick?  Geez, you can't get much stranger than that. And to imagine, one time I was convinced you were one, until the old Nightcrawler dude gave me his little speech. By the way you sure hang out with some creepy guys, Nick."

Nick rubbed his eyes.  The snowman's mouth didn't move, but the words sounded as if they were coming from him, and it sure the hell sounded like Schanke.  "Schanke, I can't believe you're really here.  Are you really here?"

"Okay, Nick, we don't have much time, but listen carefully.  Call it magic.  Tonight I'm Schanke the magic snowman.  Man oh Man, you've got problems and I'm here to try and help you."

"But a snowman, Schank?"

"Well, it's like this.  You needed help, and the big guy upstairs, you know who I mean." 

Nick nodded.

"The big guy doesn't usually allow us to return once we leave earth.  It gets too spooky for people.  But after a bit of convincing on my part, he agreed to let me come back.  I told him because of what you are, you could handle my visit."

"Schanke, it's good to talk to you.  I've missed you, my friend."

"I know that, Nick.  Once you leave here, and if you go to live in the big house, you're privileged to a lot of info. That's how I found out about what you are, and that things aren't going so good with you and Nat."  Schanke laughed. "I always knew there was more to the 'just friends' act.  You two love each other, but Nick, you sure screwed it up when you let her walk out of your life.  She's good for you, Nick."

"I know, Schanke, I know."

"Hey, it's not hopeless.  When two people love each other as much as you do, anything is possible.  And Nat's right, even though sometimes she forgets her own advice;  Love, Hope and Faith have a lot to do with it."

"Do you know everything that's happened between us?"

"Yep, I even know about how you vamped out on her tonight.  Would you have actually bit her, Nick?"

"No.  Believe it or not, I was still in control, but I was very angry."

"Angry and what else?"  Schanke demanded.

Nick didn't know how well his old partner could see him, but he couldn't look the snowman in the eye.  "Jealous."

"Is that what that was?"

Nick's head shot up.  "I'm damn angry, and jealous, Schank!  I love Nat more than any other man ever could.  But, there's things that complicate our relationship."

"Whoa, are we talking about you being a vampire or Nat's pregnancy?"

"You know about that, too?" Nick suddenly felt very foolish talking to a snowman, even if it did have Schanke's voice, spirit or whatever in it.

"I told you I know everything."

"Schanke, she's with another man, and pregnant."

"How, does that make you feel, Nick?"

"Angry, jealous...scared."

"Why are you scared?"  Schanke waited for Nick's answer.

"Because, no matter what, I still love her.  I don't care if the baby is mine or not, I want Nat.  But I'm not sure she wants me, especially after tonight and the way I treated her." Nick sighed heavily, and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I'm scared I've lost her, Schanke.  If I have, then my life is over. I can't live without her.  She's the only woman I've ever truly loved.  I never knew I could love someone as much as I do Nat."

"You would still want her even if the baby isn't yours?"  Schanke asked.

Nick gave the snowman a stern look. "Of course I would still want her!  No matter what, I love her, and the baby is a part of her.  I hope it's mine, but if not, it doesn't matter.  I want her, and the baby.  I can love that baby as if it were mine."

"Then there's your answer, Nick."

"What do you mean?"  Nick frowned.

"Boy, partner, to be 800 years old you're not too smart; are you?  By the way, I've been watching that new partner of yours, the Commissioner's kid.  She's a pretty smart gal. Knows how to kick your butt doesn't she?  Nick, you need to tell Nat what you just said about loving her and the baby."

"But what if she won't talk to me."

"Make her listen to you."

Nick kicked the snow with the tip of his toe.  Suddenly he couldn't look at the snowman.  He was afraid to ask Schanke what he wanted to."

"Time is growing short, what's on your mind, Nick?"

"Schanke, you said you know everything."  He felt the lump in his throat, and struggled with the words to ask.  "The baby...is it mine?"

"Sorry, partner, but I can't tell you the future.  Actually, no one but the big guy, and perhaps Nat, knows the answer to that.  Listen, Nick, I've got to be going.  The big guy only gave me so much time."

"Schanke, I'm sorry I didn't get on that plane that night.  If I hadn't let you go in my place you would still be alive."

"Nick, you have to stop blaming yourself for everything.  You are the most distressed person I know.  And trust me, I know a lot of people...up there, in the big house.  You didn't cause my death, the bomber did.  And something else I've learned, and the big guy will probably be upset with me telling you this, but we all have a time to live, to be born and to die.  It's our destiny."

Nick released a disapproving laugh and looked away.  "I wonder where immortal vampires fit into destiny?"

"Boy oh boy, the big guy is really gonna' be pissed, but I'll just have to deal with it."  It sounded as if the snowman sighed.  "Nick, that was your destiny."

Nick's head shot up.  "What are you saying, Schanke?"

"You were meant to travel the path of a vampire, to become immortal.  Your destiny is Nat, but you have to claim your destiny, because it just doesn't happen on its own.  You and Nat have a very long path to travel, and much to do before your destiny is fulfilled.  That's all I can tell you.  You've got to figure out the rest. I've said too much already."

"Schanke, will I ever see you again?"

"You bet your cop's badge you will, but not for a very long time.  Uh oh, I've got to go.  They're calling me to return, and they don't sound very happy with me or my big mouth."

"Thanks, Schanke.  You really are the best friend and partner a guy could have.  I'll never forget you, no matter how long I live."

"You're welcome, Nick, and I miss you too.  Got to run! Give Nat a big kiss from me, will you?  Bye, Nick!"

Nick walked closer to the snowman, until he was almost touching him.  "Schanke?"  He waited for an answer.  "Schanke?  You still here?"  Nick realized the spirit or whatever was no longer there with him.  Without thinking he retied the windblown snowman's scarf.  "Goodbye, my friend, until we meet again, wherever or whenever that might be."




***CHAPTER TEN***


His entire walk back to the inn, Nick kept thinking about the magical snowman and Schanke's spirit.  He couldn't figure out if it had really happened or if fatigue and a guilty conscious had somehow induced the illusion.   He'd gone to the gardens to think, and try to decide what he would say to Nat, but Schanke's appearance had helped him decide exactly what he needed to do.

Nick carefully thought back to all the things Schank had told him.  If this truly did happen, then he knew he'd found his destiny-Nat.  Even now, he had a hard time believing his destiny should include living eight centuries as a vampire.  He just didn't know what to make of that part of their conversation.  How could all the evil he'd done through the centuries be a part of his predestined life?

What really got Nick's attention were Schanke's comments about him and Nat having a long path to travel, and much to do.  Could the 'very long path' mean Nat would eventually become a vampire?  Nick didn't want to think about that option, especially now with Nat pregnant.  He loved her, and never wanted to live without her in his life, but he didn't know how he felt about her joining him as a vampire.

Nick didn't now what would happen, but he was determined to keep the faith, faith that somehow he'd win back Nat's love, and they would be together.   Schanke had reinforced what Nick had known for a long time, Nat was his destiny, for without her, he couldn't exist.  This alone gave him hope.

Nick smiled.  Suddenly, he realized he'd experienced several miracles in the last two days.  First his trip to the church left him feeling at peace, and there had been no discomfort when he'd entered the church or prayed.  Next, his trip to the Raven to see LaCroix had turned out better than he could have hoped for.  LaCroix released him of the 800-year-old debt, and promised to hold Nat under his protection without Nick even asking him to do so.  He'd also given Nick a very special gift through his blood; a gift Nick hoped he'd be able to use real soon, especially if things turned out the way he hoped. Even though she'd not appeared, Nick felt as if Victoria's spirit was attempting to reassure him of what path he should take.  Finally, Schanke's appearance as a snowman, sent to guide him through his indecisiveness concerning Nat. 

Nick's heart finally felt at ease. Yes, he had to have faith, everything that had happened had to be a sign things would work out between him and Nat.  Nick poured a glass of blood wine, slowly drinking it as he undressed for bed.  He was exhausted, but for the first time in weeks he didn't think he'd have a difficult time sleeping.  He didn't even bother putting on his pajamas.  Nick fell asleep almost the minute his head touched the pillow.

"Janette?  What are you doing here?"

"Oh, Nicholas, patience my, love, patience."

"I'm sorry.  Here let me take your wrap."

Janette turned her back to Nick, and began to untie her cape.  He smiled at how she still preferred the antique style garment instead of the modern coat.  She'd told him numerous times the sleeves of the overcoats were too confining.

Nick took the wrap from her shoulders as she stepped from him.  "Janette?"  Nicks eyebrows shot up in disbelief.  "Why are you dressed like that?"

Janette spun around, and gave Nick a wicked smile.  She took her cape from his hands and dropped it on the sofa, before seductively wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her body to his.

"Don't you like Christmas presents, Nichola?  I thought perhaps if I dressed for the occasion, it would be so much more fun when you unwrapped your present."  She kissed him firmly on the lips.

"But what is this dress?  It's not your usual style." Nick gently removed her arms from around his neck, distancing himself from her sensuous body as he did so.  "And, what gift, Janette?"

"Don't you like my Mrs. Claus outfit?"  She pouted, and stepped forward, leaning back into his chest, causing him to have no choice but to wrap his arms around her again.  Nick felt her seductively rub her body against his. He knew Janette wouldn't stop until she had him aroused, because she loved to play teasing, sexual games, especially with him.

Nick touched the fur trimmed, stand up collar at the back of her neck, allowing his hand to stroke down her arm, before again distancing himself from her.  "Well, it's certainly not your usual style, but I doubt its Mrs. Claus' either."  Nick let his eyes travel over her body.  The red outfit trimmed in white fur was Christmassy, but the tight fit, short length, and plunging neckline of the dress was not the typical style for a Mrs. Claus.  He couldn't believe she'd forgone her usual black attire for something so festive. He almost chuckled.  Perhaps after all these centuries the mortal traditions had rubbed off on Janette more than she realized.  "Yes, I like your outfit, Janette, but I'm just a bit surprised at why you're dressed like this." 

She giggled.  "Don't worry, soon you'll find out, and I promise you won't be disappointed."

"Do I really want to know?"

"Oh, Nichola, you've never been disappointed with my gifts." She stroked one finger from his chin, downward across his neck, drawing circles across the pulsing vein, then lower down his chest.

Nick folded his arms across his chest, arched a brow and waited.  If this was another seduction attempt of Janette's then he would gently stop it before she went too far.  He loved her still, but not as a lover, it was Nat he wanted to make love to, not Janette.

Janette caressed his cheek with her palm.  "Patience, never was one of your better virtues, but oh how delicious your impatience can be."

"Janette!"

Janette and Nick were startled when they heard Janette's name being shouted from across the room.  They turned to see LaCroix had arrived without them noticing.

"LaCroix?  LaCroix, is that really you?"  Nick couldn't believe his eyes. 

"Don't even start, Nicholas!  I'm here to stop Janette, and perhaps you from making the biggest mistake of your long eternal lives."

Nick couldn't contain his laughter.  LaCroix was dressed in the typical Santa Claus outfit, complete with white beard and gold-rimmed glasses.

"Nicholas!" LaCroix's temper flared.

"What?"

"If you choose to find humor in this, then I shall leave you to Janette's seduction.  However, if you can remain civil, I shall once and for all put a stop to her endless pursuit of you."

"And why would you do that, LaCroix?"  Nick asked, amused at their sire's attire, and words.

"LaCroix!"  Janette's temper flared.  "How dare you even consider interfering with what Nichola and I have."

LaCroix chose to ignore her anger. He quickly corrected her.  "What you once had, my dear.  You're no longer part of his destiny."

"How can you say that after all of these centuries?"

"Because it's the truth, and deep down you know it.  His destiny lies with another, not you, as difficult as that may be for you to accept."

"Natalie?"  Nick hopefully asked.

"You shall have to wait and see, Nicholas.  But I can assure you that even though Janette may always be important in your life, she will not be your final destiny."  LaCroix picked up Janette's cape from the back of the sofa.  "Come my dear, we must be on our way." He draped the cloak across her back, and caressed her shoulders firmly, never letting go.

"But, I didn't give Nichola his Christmas present."  Janette pouted.

"Ah, but we shall both give him our gift."

"And what would that be?"  Janette asked, not bothering to disguise her disappointment.

LaCroix turned them to face Nick.  "Our gift to you is that we'll remain your family for an eternity, but you shall be free to pursue your intended destiny, without fear of our interference."  He looked directly at Janette and spoke. "Neither of us will attempt to interfere with your chosen path to fulfill your destiny."  His tone was a warning to Janette.  He looked back at Nick. "Merry Christmas, Nicholas."  Before Janette could protest further, he took her arm, and firmly ushered her out the door.

"LaCroix!"  Nick yelled, waking confused to find he was sitting up in the middle of his bed, at the Victoria Inn.  He rubbed his eyes, and fell back against the pillows.  "Damn, what a dream.  This destiny adventure is getting to be too strange, even for me."  The dream replayed in his mind.  He started to laugh.  Even though it had only been a dream, seeing Janette and LaCroix dressed, as Mr. and Mrs. Claus had to be the funniest thing he'd ever witnessed.

Nick looked at the clock; almost five in the afternoon.  Sundown would be soon, and he could go to Nat.  He didn't know how, but he would make her listen to what he had to say.  Even if he had to get down on his knees and beg, he would get her back. 

Nick showered, and dressed just as the sun set.  He wasted no time driving back to Andrew's home.  This time he'd fed well, determined to keep his vampire from taking control, releasing his jealousy.  He rang the doorbell and waited.

The door opened.  Nick wasn't pleased when Andrew answered the door instead of Nat.

"Nick."

"Andrew.  May I come in?" 

Andrew paused briefly before stepping aside.  "Sure."  Andrew closed the door, and waited to see what Nick would say.

"Is Nat here?"

"No, she's not."

Nick listened and realized Andrew spoke the truth.  He didn't hear Nat's heartbeat.  Nick could tell by Andrew's expression that he wasn't going to make this easy for him.  Nick walked across the room, putting some distance between him and the other man, possibly the man who Nat now loved.

"Nick, why are you here?"

Nick turned, and stopped his anger. He'd almost let it slip, but then he noticed that Andrew's voice was steady, and calm.  He would remain the same.

"Andrew, I need to talk to Nat.  There are things I need to tell her."

Andrew folded his arms across his chest, and leaned back against the kitchen counter.  "Such as?"

"Private things."

"Do you love her, Nick?"

Nick's head shot up. He stared at Andrew; neither man spoke for what seemed forever.  Nick hadn't expected such a direct question.  He realized that if he was ever going to be able to talk to Nat, that he needed to be cordial, and honest to this man.  It was obvious Andrew was protecting Nat.  "Of course I love her.  I'll never stop loving her.  You could never love her like I do.  I don't plan on giving her up.  I'll do whatever it takes to take her home with me where she belongs."

Andrew smiled.  He shoved off the counter, crossed the room and stood directly in front of Nick.  He never dropped the eye contact.  "Don't you think it's a little late for that?"

Andrew's smirk, and words angered Nick so much he could feel the vampire stirring even though he'd fed heavily. Nick took a much-needed deep breath to stay in control.  "No I don't.  I love Nat more than life itself.  We belong together.  She may be upset, but deep down Nat knows it too."

"Maybe, but maybe not.  She wasn't happy when she first arrived, but I think I've succeeded at changing that."

Nick shut his eyes briefly.  Andrew's words hurt.  When he opened his eyes and saw Andrew's intense look he knew the man was trying to read his emotions.  Unfortunately, Nick couldn't decide what Andrew's thoughts were either.  "I wouldn't be too sure of that.  Nat is a master at disguising her feelings.  I know she loves me, and I know her well enough to know that no matter what has happened between the two of you, she still loves me."

"You're very sure of yourself."

"Yes, I am.  I have faith, faith that with our love we can settle our differences.  I'm not sure what's been going on between you and Nat, but no matter what, I love her."

"There's a baby involved now."

"That doesn't matter to me.  I hope the baby is mine, but if it's not, if it's yours, then..."

Andrew threw his head back; his laughter filled the room. 

"What's so damned funny?"  Nick demanded.

"Damn, you mean...you think..." Andrew's laughter was uncontrollable. 

Nick's temper flared. He couldn't contain it any longer. This man was laughing at him.  Nick shoved Andrew up against the wall.  "I don't know what you think is so funny, but you will tell me."

Andrew reigned in his laugher.  Nick wasn't a man to anger, and it was obvious his temper lived up to what Nat had told him.  This man could definitely be a 'Knightmare'.  Andrew threw his hands up in surrender.

Nick released him, but didn't move. 

Once released, Andrew couldn't help but smile.  "Nick, you assume a lot.  You should have been more worried that I would come on to you before I would Nat.  You're a very attractive man."

Nick's brows furrowed. 

"Nick, I'm gay!"

Andrew's words caused Nick to step back, almost stumbling.  Nick's face reflected the shock of what Andrew had confessed.  "You're..." His words trailed off as his thoughts begin to race at the possibility.

"Gay, Nick."  Andrew laughed.  "You do know what that means, don't you?"

"Of course I do!"  Nick rubbed the back of his neck, trying to think.  "But...I don't understand."

"I think we need to talk.  Here have a seat."  Andrew chuckled.  "You look like you need one."  He pulled two kitchen chairs from the table and sat in one. He patiently waited for Nick to make the next move. "So, you thought that Nat and I were involved, sexually?"

Nick nodded.  "The card, the emails..."

Andrew flashed Nick another broad smile.  "After you left last night, Nat told me about you finding the card. She assumed you found some of my emails too. "

Nick knew if he could blush he would be doing so.  "Guilty.  But I had to find her.  After two weeks of not knowing where she'd gone, I went to her apartment, and used my key."

"Snooping.  And you jumped to conclusions at what you found.  You were convinced our Nat, 'our faithful, devoted Nat' had cheated.  You don't know her at all, do you?"

"My heart does, but my head got in the way.  I can't believe I've been such an ass."

"An ass and a fool.  Do you know how much that woman loves you?"

Nick felt his chest tighten.  "Does she still love me...after last night?"

"Nick, she's mad, hurt, but yeah, she still loves you."

Nick smiled, and finally looked at him, really looked at him.

"Andrew, are you sure?  I was out of control last night, and I know the things I said really hurt her. God, I never wanted that.  I never wanted to hurt her.  Honest.  I love her too much."

Andrew listened and watched Nick.  Somehow he believed Nick.  "You do love her, don't you?"

"You'll never know how much.  She's the other part of my soul. I have to talk to her.  Please, Andrew, where is she?"

"Nick, first things first.  I think we need to discuss my and Nat's relationship."

Nick knew he was right.  If this man was important to Nat, then he needed to know why.  "How do you know Nat?"

"I've know her since we were toddlers.  Our families were neighbors and good friends."  He laughed.  "Hell, Nat and I took baths together when we were little kids.  Our moms were best friends.  We went to the same schools, even the same college.  Gay hasn't always been cool, you know.  Nat was the first person I told my sexual preference to.  She kept my secret for many years, until I decided to 'come out of the closet' so to speak.  She supported me when I told my parents, and stood by me when other family members and friends turned their back on me.  Yes, I love Nat, maybe more than you do, but in a different way."

Nick stood and started to pace the room.  "Damn, I have been a fool, in more ways than one."  Nick stopped pacing.  "Andrew, I have to talk to her.  I have so much to tell her."  The impact of the entire situation suddenly hit Nick.  "The baby is mine!"

Andrew smiled.  "Well, it sure isn't mine, even though Nat and I have been sharing a bed."

Nick frowned, his jaw muscles clinched at Andrew's comment.  It didn't go unnoticed by Andrew. 

"Nick, relax.  The baby is definitely yours. As you can see, I'm in the middle of major remodeling here.  I sold the sofa before Nat's arrival, to get it out of the way, and there's only one bed.  Nat and I have slept in the same bed many times, even as adults. In college she would sleep at my dorm or I at hers when we came home from late night partying.  I'm not bi-sexual, Nick, I'm gay. Nat and I have never been intimate, and never will."

Nick gave Andrew a big smile, one that reached his eyes.  "Thanks, Andrew.  You didn't have to tell me that."

"Yes I did.  If it gets the two of you back together, and makes Nat happy, then it'll be worth it."

"I'm going to be a father!"  Nick's smile spread wide across his face.  "A father!  Andrew, where is she?  I have to talk to her."  His enthusiasm filled his entire body.

Andrew had been smiling at Nick's reaction, happy that he'd gone with his instincts and talked to Nick.  He had no doubts, Nick loved Nat just as much as she loved him. Nick's question caused his smile to fade.

"What?  What's wrong, Andrew?"  Nick could hear the increase in the man's heartbeat, and heard him sigh.

"Nat wouldn't tell me where she was going. She was afraid that somehow you would find out and follow her.  Nick, you have to follow her. I'm worried.  The weather report is calling for heavy snow and high winds."

"When did she leave, Andrew?"

"She's been sleeping a lot due to her pregnancy, so she slept until late morning.  She left this afternoon around three.  Her big concern was to leave before nightfall. She told me about your skin allergy.  She wanted to leave before you could follow her.  Nick, all I know is she mentioned going to a cabin. She's supposed to call when she arrives.  I tried to get her to stay here, but..."

Nick touched Andrew's shoulder to reassure him.  "Hey, we're talking about Natalie Lambert.  It's not your fault. No one talks her out of anything."

Andrew laughed.  "I see you do know the woman."

"After six years, I know her well."

"Nick, do you have any idea where she's going?"

"Andrew, there are two possibilities.  Her brother and his wife had a cabin.  I think Sarah may still own it."

"Richard's cabin used to belong to Nat's parents.  Somehow, I don't think she'd go there with her being upset. It would remind her too much of her brother and all that she's lost.  What's the other possibility?"

Nick smiled.  "We had a mutual friend, who always thought we should be a couple.  He gave both of us a key, hoping someday we would end up there together.  His family still owns the place."

"Where's this cabin?"  Andrew asked.

"North of Toronto.  If I leave here now, I should be able to get there before sunrise."

"I hope she's there, and you work things out. I'm really glad I trusted my instincts and talked to you. I knew any man who captured Nat's heart had to be a really decent guy." Andrew extended his hand, offering it to Nick.

Nick didn't hesitate. He shook Andrew's hand.  "Thanks, Andrew, and I'm sorry for my behavior."

"No problem. I understand. Just find Nat, and make her happy...Dad."  Andrew chuckled.

"I plan on it."

Nick turned up his collar and stepped out into the cold night.  'A father, a biological father.'  He tilted his face up to the night sky.  "Thank you God, for a miracle.  Please keep Nat safe until I can find her."




***CHAPTER ELEVEN***


Nat gripped the steering wheel tighter.  She couldn't stop thinking about how Nick tracked her down.  She chuckled.  "Well, what did you expect?  The vampire is an excellent hunter, and Nick is a detective." He'd been so out of control last night.  He hadn't frightened her until she felt his fangs on her neck.  That really scared her.  Not for her own safety, but if Nick had actually brought her across the baby would have died. 

She cautiously glanced down as she rubbed her hand across her abdomen.  "Oh, little one.  If that had happened, it would have destroyed your father when he realized what he'd done."  A tear slid down her face at what they'd lost.  No matter what happened, she would always love Nick, but she doubted they could ever be together again. There were just too many obstacles; Nick's vampirism, LaCroix, danger from the Community.  Why couldn't Nick be a mortal man?  If he were, they could be together, to live a lifetime sharing all the joys and sorrows-together.

She knew eventually she'd have to tell Nick he'd fathered her child.  He'd never really accused her, but she remembered too vividly the hurt in his eyes when she'd told him she was pregnant.  He'd never once considered it could be his baby, and that confused her.  Had he forgotten their one glorious night of lovemaking? Last night she'd been angry, but now after much thought, she had no doubt Nick assumed the baby belonged to Andrew.  She was hurt that he could even think she would be unfaithful to him, even if they didn't have a spoken commitment.  No matter what happened between them now, she knew in her heart she'd never love again.  She'd always have a part of Nick to love.  The baby would forever bring her joy, and remind her of the only man she'd ever love.  She hoped it would be a son, and would look just like his father; what a bittersweet joy that would be.

The drive back to Toronto, and further north to Schanke's cabin, had given her plenty of time to think.  She wiped away the tear with the back of her hand.  She repeatedly played the scene over in her head.  She finally realized that no matter what Nick's actions were, the man had still been in control, not the vampire.  She knew now, that Nick would never have bitten her.  He had more control than he even realized.  If they ever chose to bring her across it would be after long discussions and planning.

She thought it would be Nick who would leave her.  He'd already been in Toronto for six years.  It wouldn't be long before he was forced to move on, before people started to notice he hadn't aged.  She would never have thought it would be her to leave, but staying, and not truly being with him had become too painful.  But that pain was nothing compared to what she felt now.  "Dear God, I think I've made the biggest mistake of my life."  The tears began to flow down her face, blurring her vision.  She wiped away the tears with the back of her coat sleeve.

The reality of how crazy it was to drive to the cabin in the middle of a snowstorm started to sink in, causing her nerves to tense.  She'd been driving on the isolated road for over half an hour, without seeing another car.  The snow was falling faster, and the wind blew harder than when she'd left the outskirts of Toronto.  She should have spent the night at her apartment, but she didn't want to chance Nick finding her again.  Now, she wondered if that was true.  Seeing him again last night, made her want to feel his arms holding her, his lips softly kissing her, even if it was just a friendly kiss on her temple. 

The icy snow blew directly into the front of the car.  The headlights, even on dim, lit up the falling snow, causing a white tunnel effect, making it difficult to see the road.  It seemed every minute the storm grew worse.  It would be a close call getting to the cabin before the storm intensified to the point that she would need to pull to the side of the road.  She glanced at the car clock, noticing it was almost midnight.  Perhaps its too late for anyone to be driving this road. Maybe that's why I haven't passed any cars.  Any excuse made her feel better than the real one.  She knew the storm had caused the road to be deserted  "Damn!"

Suddenly, a deer darted across the road.  Before thinking she hit the brakes, causing the car to fishtail.  She immediately released the pedal, but it was too late.  The car spun around twice, sliding down the embankment.  Nat's arms locked, her hands tightened around the steering wheel.  She braced herself, trying to keep her body from taking the full impact of being thrown against the restraining seat belt.  The car bumped down the incline, before stopping in a tangle of bushes.

Nat let out a deep sigh of relief.  The adrenaline rush had her entire body shaking.  Relief that she'd not been injured or worse, started to calm her fear.  Instantly, she knew she had another predicament.  "How am I going to get out of this mess?"  She was still a couple of miles from the Schanke cabin, with no shelter but her wrecked car. 

Nat unbuckled her seat belt, her hand rubbed across her stomach.  "Oh, baby, what are we going to do now?" Her tears returned.  "Normally I'd call your dad, but this time, I think it's out of the question." Tears began to pour down her cheeks.  "I'm a fool.  I sent him away, and I don't think he'll ever come back."  She rested her head against the back of the seat, and finally gave in to the tears.  She wrapped her arms tightly around her, and cried so hard that her entire body shook, and still she cried, until finally there were no more tears to fall. She was so tired, so very tired.  Her eyes closed.  Sleep tried pulling her into its dark abyss.  She struggled to stay awake, knowing she could freeze to death if she didn't get to the cabin.  'Just five minutes, that's all I need.'  The struggle was lost. 

"Hey, Natalie, wake up."

"Tired, too tired."  Nat answered in barely a whisper.

"No!  You can't fall sleep.  You're not safe here.  This snowstorm is going to turn into a full blizzard, and we need to get you to the cabin.  Come on, wake up."

"Don't want to."  She argued.

"Natalie!" 

Nat fought to keep her eyes shut. She needed rest.  "Ouch!"  Her eyes flew open.  She rubbed her arm.  Someone or something had pinched her.

"Good, you're awake!"

Nat turned on the interior car lights, and looked around.  She could have sworn she'd heard someone talking.  She rubbed her tear stained, swollen, red eyes. "Damn, now I'm hearing voices."

"No you're not!  I'm over here!"

Nat heard the soft, high-pitched voice again.  She shook her head, trying to wake up.  "Okay, I'll bite.  Over where?"  She knew it was foolish to talk to imaginary voices, but maybe it would calm her, so she could decide what to do.

"Over here!"

Nat looked over at the car's dash, in front of the passenger seat.  "What the hell?"

"Hi, Natalie!  Glad you decided to wake up."

Natalie leaned forward, trying to get a better look at what she thought she saw.

"You're not seeing things, Nat.  Do you mind if I call you Nat?  I know all your friends do, and I am your friend."

Nat still couldn't believe her eyes.  "What are you?"

"Something very different than you, but not a vampire."  The small creature laughed.

Nat's eyes widened.  She sat up straight.  "How do you know about that?"  She cautiously asked.

"Elves know everything.  I know about you, Nick, what he is, and the baby too.  Now, come on, we have to think of a way to get you safely to the cabin."

"I'm dreaming!  Yes, yes, that's what it is. This is a dream.  I'm asleep and you're my dream."  Nat tried to convince herself.

"Not!" the tiny creature yelled.  "This is not a dream!"

"Okay, if this isn't a dream, then explain why suddenly I'm seeing and hearing tiny creatures.  Elves don't exist. They're fairy tales."  Nat argued.

The elf crossed her arms across her chest and arched a brow.  "And vampires?"

Nat frowned.  "Okay, point taken, but still..."

"Nat, I'm as real and alive as you are.  But, if you're going to stay alive, then we have to get you out of here."

Nat suddenly realized that whether this creature was real or not, she did need to get out of the car and try to make it to the cabin.  The snow and wind had increased, and if the storm continued to get worse, soon there would be blizzard conditions.  If that happened, there would be no chance of survival.

"Okay, if I'm going to talk to you, what do I call you?  "Elf?"  Nat couldn't believe this was really happening, but the elf had a point, at one time she didn't believe in vampires, but now she was in love and pregnant by one.

"Not!  Elves have names, just like humans...and vampires."  She grinned.  "My name is Ahsat"

"Ahsat?  That's an unusual name. I've never heard of it."  Nat frowned.

"Of course not!"  The elf sounded exasperated at Nat's lack of knowledge.  "Ahsat is an Elvish name."

"Elvish?"  Nat thought this conversation had gone from strange to bizarre.  She still couldn't believe she was actually talking to an elf or what appeared to be an elf.

"Nat!  Elvish is the language of elves.  You know like English, French, German, and etcetera.  Well, we have our own language too.  Ahsat is Elvish for 'heart's desire'.  You see, I'm an elf that helps fulfill people's most heart felt desire."

Nat eyes blinked several times in surprise.  "Why are you here?"

"Whether you know it or not, you need help.  Your have a big desire in your heart that is unfulfilled.  But before we can take care of that, we do need to get you out of here, and to the safety and warmth of the cabin."

The analytical, scientific side of Nat charged ahead.  "Am I the only one who can see you?"

The elf threw her hands up.  "Do you see anyone else here except us?  The answer is no.  I've been assigned to you, so no one but you can see me.  Now, grab your boots down there, and change into them."  Ahsat pointed to Nat's snow boots on the floor, in front of the passenger seat.

Nat started changing her shoes, never taking her eyes off Ahsat.  "What's the plan?  I do need to get to the cabin, but the weather is terrible.  You're the magical elf, so what's your suggestion.  Oh, you do have magic don't you?  Because I think that's what I'm going to need if I make it out of here."

Ahsat put her hands on her hips, and stood tall and straight, trying to look bigger than her tiny five inch body would allow.  She tugged at her bright green tunic, and straightened her floppy red cap.  The attached feather fell in her face, and she blew it away with as much dignity as she could.  "Of course I have magic, but I'm limited with how I can use it."

"And how is that?"  Nat asked, really interested in what the elf had to say. If this was a dream, it was a very interesting one.  She was actually beginning to enjoy talking to Ahsat.

"We elves can only use magic as a last resort.  So it has to be an emergency."

Nat frowned at the elf.  "Well, this seems like a big emergency. Can't you just snap your fingers or whatever you elves do and zap me to the cabin?"

"Not!"

"Geez, you sure like that word."

The elf snorted.  "Nat!  Elves can only help after the human tries to help themselves."

"Hmmm, and what about this desire in my heart?"

Ahsat smiled.  "Oh, Natalie, you know without me telling you what your heart desires."  Ahsat leaned forward, as if she were about to reveal a big secret.  "What you don't realize is part of what you desire is already true, and has been for a long time."

"What do you mean?"  Nat held her breath, daring not to hope for what she wished Ahsat would reveal.

Ahsat, walked across the front dash and stood above the steering wheel.  She looked directly at Nat.  Her face became very serious.  "Nick's love."  She gave Nat a warm smile.  "Nick loves you with all his heart, Nat. He's just afraid, afraid that his love will hurt you, cause you pain or harm.  He wants to keep you safe, and he thinks to do so he must distance himself from you."

"But that hurts me more."

"I know, Nat.  What is it you're always telling him; to trust, and have faith, hope and love?  Well, he has the love, and I know for a fact that just recently he reclaimed his faith, now all he needs to do is trust, trust that his love can keep you safe."  Ahsat grinned.  "He also has hope, hope that the two of you can be together."

Nat gave her a suspicious look.  "What are you not telling me?  And how do you know about his faith?  Just how much do you know, Ahsat?"

"Enough."

"Tell me!"  Nat demanded.

"Not!" Ahsat yelled in her high-pitched voice.

"Would you please stop using that word?  Do you mean you don't know or won't tell me?"  Nat felt so damn frustrated with Ahsat's riddles.

"A bit of both.  I'm not allowed to tell you, just like I'm not allowed to use magic unless it's absolutely necessary.  There are Elvish Rules, and they can't be broken.  I can tell you this, you're always telling Nick that faith, hope and love are important, but recently you haven't taken your own advice."

Nat dropped her head, embarrassed to look at her little friend.  She sighed heavily.  "I know."

"Hey, everything will be okay in time."  Ahsat shut her eyes and willed herself onto Nat's shoulder.  "I'm going to ride in your pocket.  We need to get going.  The weather isn't going to improve, and it's going to take us some time to walk to the cabin."

"We really have to walk?"

"Yep, that's the rules."  Ahsat slid down Nat's arm and landed in her coat pocket.  "Just don't forget I'm here and squish me."

Nat laughed for the first time since leaving Buffalo.  "Deal."  She pulled on her gloves, grabbed her over night tote bag and opened the car door.  The wind blew her hair in her face.  She shoved it back, and flipped up the hood of her coat, quickly tying it under her chin.  "Ready?"

"Yep, grab the flashlight under your seat, and let's get going."

Natalie found the climb up the embankment impossible.  She would take a few steps and slide back down the hill.  She finally tried walking sideways, the way she did when snow skiing, and found it worked.  After a few stumbles she finally made it up to the road.

"Finally!  I was beginning to wonder if I'd ever make it back to the road."

"Faith, Nat, Faith."

She smiled at Ahsat's comment, even though the wind caught her breath.  Natalie started the long walk down the deserted road, heading toward the cabin.  She kept her eyes on the tree-lined road, using it as a guide. It kept her heading in the right direction on the cleared path.  The only problem, the snow was getting deeper.  She carefully took her steps, trying to keep the deep snow from falling into the top of her boots.  She knew if her her feet got wet, she stood the chance of frostbite.

Ahsat had remained quiet, and so had Nat for what must have been a good twenty minutes.  Nat felt very tired, and her feet were numb from the cold.  The wind and snow blew harder now, making it difficult to see directly in front of her.  "Ahsat?  I can't do this."

"Yes you can, Nat.  You have to!"

Nat pulled the neck of her coat higher, burying her nose inside the top of the coat.  She shifted her tote bag to the other shoulder.  "I'm so tired." Nat's struggled to get her words out. The snow had collected on her eyelashes, and turned to ice. 

Nat took a few steps with her eyes closed, and slightly opened them to make sure she hadn't strayed from the road.  She kept repeating the pattern until finally her eyes wouldn't open again.   Her knees buckled, and she fell into the snow. 

Ahsat held onto the pocket's lining, trying to keep from bouncing out.  It didn't matter she was an elf; the elements affected her just as they did Nat. Nat had more clothes on than she did.  She needed to stay in the pocket to stay warm.  Ahsat suddenly felt as if she were falling. She held on tighter, determined not to fall out of the pocket.  "Nat!"

Nat didn't answer. 

"Natalie!!!'  Ahsat yelled.  She waited, but Natalie never answered.  When she felt no movement from Nat, she pulled herself up, and peaked over the top of the pocket.  "Natalie!"  What Ahsat saw frightened her.  Nat had fallen in the snow.  Her eyes were shut, she wasn't moving.  "Natalie, please get up!"  Nat still didn't move.  Ahsat knew that now they indeed were in trouble.  If she didn't take action, Nat would freeze to death.  Well, this definitely was an emergency.  It was time to release her magic.




***CHAPTER TWELVE***


Nick left Andrew's home, stopping at the Victoria just long enough to get his bags and check out.  He'd been on the road, headed toward Schanke's cabin, less than a half hour after he left Andrew.

The snowfall had begun to get heavier the further north he drove.  He'd hoped Nat had stopped at her apartment to wait out the storm, but when he'd checked, there were no signs she'd been home.  Mail and the last two days newspapers were at her front door.

'Damn, Nat, are you that anxious to get away from me to risk your life and our baby?'  He took a deep breath, reminding himself that she wouldn't deliberately do so.  He realized he'd upset her, and the reason she'd left Toronto, and she'd fled Buffalo.  How could he have treated her the way he did, vamping out and accusing her of being unfaithful?  He may not have said the words, but they both knew those were his thoughts.

He flipped open his cell phone, and dialed Andrew's number.  After two rings he heard Andrew's voice.

"Nat?"

"No, Andrew, it's Nick.  Has Nat called?" 

"No, Nick.  I'm worried."

Nick felt his chest tighten.  "I've tried calling her cell phone, but there's no answer."  Nat promised to call Andrew when she arrived at the cabin. Even with the snow, she should have arrived by now.  "Maybe her cell phone died.  It wouldn't be the first time she forgot to keep it charged."  He knew his words most likely weren't true, but he refused to think something had happened to Nat.

"I'm sure that's it, Nick.  Where are you?"

"I'm about an hour north of Toronto.  I stopped by her apartment in the city, but there's no sign she's been there. The mail was still in her box.  I'm heading to Schanke's cabin.  I just turned onto the back road that leads directly there. If she's had car trouble, I'll pass her."

"Nick, please call me when you find her."

"I will Andrew.  My cell number is area code 888, the number, 555-1228.  Call me if you hear from her."

"Will do. Good luck."

"Thanks."  Nick flipped the phone shut and tucked it back into his coat pocket.  "I will find you, Nat.  God, please keep her safe...the baby too." 

The wipers scrapped across the windshield, barely clearing the snow.  He flipped on the defroster, hoping it would help clear the window so he could see.  Nick slipped on his sunglasses to protect his eyes from the headlight's reflecting off the snow. He was afraid to turn them off; afraid he might miss her, even with his enhanced eyesight.  What if she had somehow slid off the road?  That was a very good possibility in this storm.

"Damn!"  He stopped the Caddie.  He'd almost missed it.  He practically jumped out of his car, and ran down the embankment.  Nat's car was wedged between bush thickets.  A quick scan of the area, almost jump-started his slow, almost dead heart.  The ditch at first appearance looked as if it wasn't very deep, but his special vision revealed a steep drop-off below Nat's car.  If her car hadn't stopped when it did, she would be laying several hundred feet below, most likely dead. 

Nick opened the driver's door and looked around inside, hoping she'd left a note.  He checked the visor, even the glove compartment, but found nothing that would tell him where she'd gone.  He noticed two suitcases in the back seat.  He grabbed them and headed back to his car.  He'd been here with Schanke several times to check on the water pipes during the winter months, and knew the immediate area to be isolated. Nat had to be headed to the cabin on foot. There wasn't anywhere else for her to go.  He slowly, and cautiously, started down the road, toward the cabin.   He strained his eyes ahead, afraid if she was walking he could very easily hit her with the car before he ever saw her.

Nick thought he saw something, but the snow blew across his windshield obstructing his view.  He turned the wipers on full force, and this time he did see it--a light.  He brought the car to a stop, but left the engine running.  He ran up the road, toward the light. 

Nick's body froze at what he saw.  A body lay in the road; a lit flashlight lay a few feet away.  "Oh dear God, NO!  Nat!"  He turned her almost snow covered body over, and hugged her to his chest.  Tears threatened his eyes.  He stroked her hair.  He shut his eyes and looked up.  "No, my love, no!"

Ahsat poked her head out of Nat's pocket and smiled.  She wove her magic and waited.

Nick then heard it--Nat's heartbeat.  She was alive!  "Thank you, God!" He scooped her up into his arms, grabbed the bag from beside her and flew them back to his car.  He gently settled her on the front passenger seat, removing the hood of her coat from her head.  He got in and flipped the heater to high.  He had to get her warm, and fast, or hypothermia would set in, if it hadn't already. 

Nick started driving quickly, but safely toward the cabin.  He wrapped his free arm around Nat, and pulled her closer to him.  "Nat?   Come on, Nat, wake up!"  His hand stroked down her cheek.  She was so cold.   "Natalie, please wake up.  Don't you dare leave me.  I love you!"

Ahsat quietly slid out of Nat's pocket and across the seat.  She willed herself down to the floor in front of the passenger seat, and hid in the shadows to watch.

"Natalie, please wake up!"  Nick pleaded.  "God, please don't take her from me.  I love her with all my heart.  I know that we're meant to be together or you wouldn't have sent her into my life.  Please don't take her from me.  I promise I'll love her until I take my last immortal breath.  Help her, God.  Help our baby.  I'll never leave her again, I swear, just don't take her from me."

Nat moaned and shifted her body causing Nick to briefly take his eyes from the road to glance at her.  "That's it, Nat, open your eyes, Hon. I'm here, everything is going to be alright.  Nat?"

Nat tried opening her eyes, but her entire body felt frozen.  She willed her eyes to open.  All she could manage was a slight fluttering of her eyelids before she felt herself falling back into the black abyss.

Ahsat watched, waiting to see if Nat would snap out of it, and realize Nick had saved her. For a moment it looked as if Nat would wake up, but Ahsat saw that she was slipping back into her deep sleep, which could be dangerous.

Ahsat willed herself to the top of the front seat, between Nick and Nat.  Nick couldn't see her.  No one could see her but Nat.  Ahsat took a deep breath, concentrated and blew across Nat's face.  When nothing happened she did it again.  This time Nat's eyes fluttered, and she moaned again.  "Nick?"

Nick could see the cabin ahead. He drove the car and parked it close to the front porch.  He wrapped both his arms around Nat, pulling her closer to his chest. "Nat, Hon, open your eyes. I'm here, everything is going to be okay, I promise." 

"Nick?"

He stroked the back of her head.   "It's me, Nat. You're safe now.  I won't let anything happen to you.   Nat, open your eyes."

Nat thought she heard Nick, but knew it to be impossible. She'd forced him to leave.  No, Nick couldn't be here.  It had to be a dream.  Ahsat had woven her magic and caused her to dream about Nick.  Yes, that had to be it.  Nick would still be in Buffalo or Toronto.  He had no idea she was here.

"Natalie, can you hear me?"

Nat tried again to open her eyes, and this time she succeeded.  At first everything was blurry, but with concentration she focused, and couldn't believe what she saw.  "Nick?"  She reached up and hesitantly touched his face, afraid that he would disappear. 

Nick grabbed her hand and pressed his face closer into her palm.  "Oh, Nat, I'm here."  He kissed her gloved fingertips.

Nat still believed it to be a dream, but he felt so real.  She pulled away and tried to sit up, becoming more alert.  "Nick, is that really you?  Please tell me you're really here and not my imagination or a vision Ahsat created."

Ahsat smiled, and slid back to the floor, hiding again in the shadows. 

Nick leaned over and kissed her lightly on the lips.  "I'm here, my love, really here, and I'm not leaving you, nor are you leaving me, ever again.  I don't know who this Ahsat is, but I'm no vision.  I'm here and really holding you in my arms."

"Oh, Nick, I was so afraid I would die, the baby... I was so cold.  I was terrified you would never know how much I love you, and the baby is yours.  Nick, I'm pregnant with your child." Her tears started to flow down her cheeks.

Nick kissed her forehead as he dried her tears. He held her cheeks in his hands and looked at her.  He'd come so close to losing her, emotionally and physically.  "I know, Nat.  I know the baby is mine.  I'm so sorry, sorry for everything. I've been a real fool, but not any more. I promise."

"No, Nick!  I'm the fool.  I didn't have faith or trust that you really loved me.  I understand so much more now.  This is my entire fault for pushing you into a relationship, and bolting when you couldn't give me what I wanted.  I should have told you about the baby.  Please forgive me.  I'm so sorry, so very sorry."

Nick held her cheek in his palm, letting his thumb continuously stroke her soft skin.  His eyes caressed every inch of her face.  She was so very precious to him.  He couldn't stop thinking about how he'd nearly lost her.

"Nat, we've both made mistakes, but I think we've learned from them.  No more, Nat.  I'll never push you away again, and I hope you'll never leave me."  He gave her a half smile, unsure of how she felt.  He didn't have to wait long to find out.

Nat threw her arms around his neck and locked her hands behind his head.  "Never again, Nicholas de Brabant, Knight.  You'll never get rid of me again, so don't ever try."

Nick's lips curved into a broad smile.  "Don't worry, I won't." He couldn't hold her close enough.  He knew they needed to get inside the cabin, but he really didn't want to let her go.  Reluctantly, he slid her arms from around his neck.  He didn't miss the pout that immediately froze on her lips.  He leaned down and kissed her lightly on the nose. "Nat, we need to get you inside.  Stay here with the heater on, and try to keep warm.  I need to go and light a fire, and see if I can get the heat going."

"Okay, but hurry.  I suddenly don't want you out of my sight."

Nick smiled.  He held her face, and kissed her firmly on the lips.  "I'll hurry."  He got out of the car, went to the trunk and got their suitcases.  Nat was surprised to see he had her luggage.

"Oh, I just love happy endings!"  Ahsat's shrill voice filled the car.

"Ahsat?  You're still here?"

"Not for long." Ahsat smiled.

"Where are you going?  What about helping me?"

"Natalie Lambert, do I have to spell it out for you?  Hmmm?  Nick loves you.  His faith is restored, and now he has hope."

"I don't understand, what's changed?  He's still a vampire, and I'm still a mortal.  From what I know the two can't play house."

"Hmmm, we'll see."  Ahsat smirked.

"Now what are you not telling me?  I know, I know, you're not allowed to tell me.  But can't you at least give me a hint?"  Nat pleaded.

"Not!"

"There's that word again!"

Ahsat smiled broadly.  "Nick has trust, but do you?"

"Riddles again?"  Nat arched a brow, waiting for her little friend to answer.

"Search your heart, Nat.  Do you trust Nick completely?  Would you do anything he asked of you?" Ahsat's face reflected the seriousness of her question.

Nat didn't say anything as she searched her heart for an answer.  It didn't take her long.  "I've always trusted Nick.  For six years I've trusted him completely, even with my life.  Yes, I do trust him, and would do whatever he asked of me."

"Then there's your answer."  Ahsat willed herself over to stand on Nat's shoulder.  She touched her friend's cheek.  "Don't forget when the time comes."

"You're not going to tell me what you're talking about, are you?"

Ahsat, leaned forward and placed a kiss on Nat's cheek.  "NOT!" she grinned.

Nat chuckled.  "Will I ever see you again?"

"Maybe, maybe not. I can't be sure.  But I promise to keep tabs on you and Nick.  If you need me, and if I can, I'll be there to help." 

Ahsat slid down Nat's arm, landing in her lap.  She patted Nat's stomach.  "Take care of the little guy."

Nat's eyes flew wide.  "Guy?  It's a boy?"  She couldn't hide her excitement. 

Ahsat nodded, and when Nat blinked her eyes and opened them again, the little elf was gone.

"Ahsat?  Ahsat?"  The elf didn't answer.  Nat felt sad that she might never see her little friend again.  But Ahsat's last words rung true all the way to her heart.  She knew she would give Nick a son. 

"Nat, who were you talking to?"

Nat had been so preoccupied with her thoughts she hadn't heard Nick return and open the car door.  She looked up at him.  "Just a little friend of mine."

Nick gave her a questioning look, but didn't ask more. She'd been through a lot the last few weeks. Undoubtedly, the strain of emotions had her acting a bit strange.  He reached in and turned off the ignition, taking the key.   "Come on, let's get inside, this storm is turning into a blizzard.  If this keeps up, there's no telling how long we'll be here."

Nat slid across the seat and got out of the car.  She pulled her coat's hood up, covering her head.  "Do you mind being stuck here with me?"  She anxiously waited his answer.  In the past Nick had avoided spending lengthy periods of time with her because of the temptation. He'd confided his desire for her, the scent of her blood and the beat of her heart called to his vampire.  He feared he'd lose control, and hurt her.

Nick shut the car door and wrapped his arm around her, guiding her to the cabin.  "Not at all."  He flashed her a big smile.  "I came prepared with enough supplies to last a week or more.  I just checked the cupboards and there's plenty of food for you too."  He hesitated before his confession.  "I called Andrew to let him know you're safe...Tracy, too."

"Andrew told you where to find me?"  Nat stepped onto the porch, and stopped. 

Nick looked at her, unable to detect her feelings about Andrew helping him. "Nat, don't be angry.  He's very protective of you. I had to convince him my feelings for you were sincere.  I'm not sure he would have given me any information if it weren't for the bad weather.   We both were terrified of you driving in this storm."

"I'm not angry, Nick."  She finally smiled, and squeezed his arm to reassure him.  "I'm actually a bit surprised. Storm or no storm, Andrew would never betray my trust.  You must have made some impression for him to help you figure out where I was headed.  What did you say to cause him to help?"  She arched a brow, her eyes narrowed.  "Just how did you convince him?"

"I didn't hypnotize him." He held her face gently, but firmly, and looked directly at her.  "I told him I love you more than life itself, and we belong together."  His voice cracked with the intense emotion. "I told him I would never stop loving you, and I didn't plan on giving you up."

"Wow!"

"Wow, indeed."  Nick pulled her into his arms and held her tight.  "I love you, Natalie Lambert.  I don't ever want to lose you or your love."

Natalie shivered at the love she heard in his voice.  She finally knew he really did love her.

Nick mistook Nat's body movement, and realized she had to be freezing. "We need to get you inside, and warm."  He reluctantly released her, opened the door and stepped aside to allow her to enter the cabin. 

Nat smiled.  The fireplace had a roaring fire already heating the room.  Nick had lit several candles, and with the dimmed lights the entire cabin looked cozy and romantic.  She removed her coat, and sat down to take off her boots.

"Here, let me do that for you."  Nick took off his coat, squatted in front of her, and removed her boots.  He took the time to massage each foot, trying to get the circulation going, to help warm her nearly frostbitten toes.  "Are you okay?  I was so worried when I found you?"

Nat reached up and caressed his cheek.  "I'm fine...and so is the baby." A shiver ran down her back.  "I don't want to think what would have happened if you hadn't found us."

"Neither do I."  He wrapped his arms around her waist, and laid his head against her stomach.  Neither said anything.  She stroked his head, occasionally running her fingers through his hair. 

"Nat, do you have any idea how much I love you?"

She smiled and kissed the top of his head.  "Yeah, I think I finally do."

"When you left, I thought I would go crazy.  I couldn't sleep.  I didn't feed well."  He chuckled.  "I think the entire precinct was ready to stake me."

Nat laughed at his choice of words.  "That bad, huh?"

"Yeah, just ask Tracy."

Nat smiled and kissed him again.  She continued to slowly stroke the back of his head.

"Nat?"  He pulled back and looked at her.  His face became serious.  "We have a lot to discuss.  But tonight...Nat..." He held her head in his hands, both thumbs lightly brushed across her lips.

Nat held her breath, and waited.

"Natalie, I want to make love to you."




***CHAPTER THIRTEEN***


Stunned, Natalie couldn't believe she'd heard what Nick said.  His comment had been completely unexpected.

Nick's hands trembled, as he waited for Natalie's answer.  When she hesitated, his chest tightened.  Was she scared of him?  He couldn't blame her after the way he'd acted.  "Natalie, did you hear me?"  He took a deep breath and repeated his desires.  "I want to make love to you."

Nat bit her bottom lip, and frowned.  "Nick, why now?"

"Are you afraid, Nat, afraid of me?"

Nat smiled.  She locked her arms around his neck.  "I've never been afraid of you."

"Last night, I..."

She pressed a finger over his lips.  "Last night, I was upset, and yes, I worried when I felt your fangs pressed against my neck.  I wasn't scared of you hurting me...or bringing me across.  I would willingly accept becoming a vampire if it meant I could be with you for an eternity.  But if you had brought me across, our child wouldn't have survived.  Losing this baby is what frightened me.  Nick, today I realized that you wouldn't have bitten me."

Nick released her.  He stood and began furiously pacing the room.  "Natalie, how can you say that? I was out of control, and we both know it."

Nat walked to him, and gently wrapped her arms around his waist, leaning her chest against his back.  "The vampire was released, but Nick, you were the one in control.  You didn't hurt me, and if the vampire had been totally in control, it would have."

"You seem so sure."

Nat forced him to turn around, to face her.  "Nick, I trust you.  I know in my heart that you would never hurt me.  Your love will always protect me from your beast.  Don't you realize that."

He grinned.  "Faith?"

She smiled.  "Faith."

"Come here."  He pulled her into his arms.  "How did I ever get lucky enough to find you?  I'm thankful every day for that pipe bomb explosion."  He tucked her head under his chin.

"Who would have ever thought you getting blown up would bring us together?"  She chuckled.

"Seriously, Nat.  I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I can't ever lose you."  He softly raised her face to his, gazing into her eyes.  "Do you trust me to make love to you?"

"What's changed, Nick? You've always been afraid to try."

"There are things that I need to tell you."  He took her hand and led her to the sofa.  When she started to sit beside him, he pulled her onto his lap and smiled.  "I want you close when I tell you what I have to say."

Nat grinned.  "Okay."

Nick stroked down the side of her face, with one finger, memorizing every curve.  "I went to see LaCroix."

"Nick!"

"No, wait, let me finish.  Nat, he's released me from the debt.  I know you remember what happened that night at Azure."

Nat arched a brow.  "Yes, I remember, all of it, but how did you know."

"You, my love, talk in your sleep.  One night when you slept on the sofa at the loft, I watched you."

Nick saw Nat's cheeks flush with embarrassment, and smiled at her reaction.   "Nat, I should be the one embarrassed, not you. 

"What did I say that let you know I remembered?"

"It isn't important now.  What matters is LaCroix has released me from the debt.  He told me to find you and bring you home."

"And you believe him?"

"Yes, Nat, I do.  He also told me he'll protect you, and accept you, as part of his family."

Nat's eyes widened.  "What?  Why would he do that?"

"Because I told him that if I couldn't be with you my life would be over."

"Oh, Nick."  Tears filled her eyes.

"Don't cry, love.  I meant it and he knows it.  He's changed, Nat.  Oh, he's still LaCroix, but I think he wants our relationship to improve."

"Nick, please don't trust him."  Nat pleaded.

"I don't usually, but in this I do.  Nat, he does love me.  I finally realized that.  And in a strange way, I love him too.  He's the only father I've had for centuries.  Our times together haven't always been bad.  He's finally accepted that I'll never be like him.  He admitted to making mistakes with me, and our relationship."

"Wow!  I can't believe this."

"Hon, ever since I prevented Divia from killing him, he's treated me as his equal.  That's something he's never done.  He really does want me happy, and he knows you're the one who can do that."

"Well this is amazing!  The old goat tries to kill me, and now he's going to protect me as if I were his family."  Nat shook her head in disbelief.  "This is just too much to believe."

"I know, but it's true."  Nick grew nervous at how she would react to his next confession.  "Natalie, I offered to let him take my blood, so he'd know I didn't lie about my feelings for you."

"No!  Nick, please tell me you didn't!"

"Shhh, love.  He refused me."

"He did?  But I thought you told me he likes sharing your blood because it strengthens your bond, and allows him to control you."

"In the past he did, but not this time.  He's changed, Nat, I promise you he has.  He refused me, but offered his blood instead."

"Why, I don't understand."

"Do you remember when I told you about the blood not being just our food, but vampires could read a person's life by tasting their blood?" 

"Yes, I remember."

"Tonight, I took his blood, and he shared things with me, things he has never allowed me to see.  Nat, it's possible for us to have a physical relationship without me harming you."

"Oh, Nick!"  She kissed him lightly on the lips.

"Nat, you know I'll need to take your blood when we're intimate, to finish?" 

"Yes, and you're afraid you'll drain me because you won't be able to stop."

"That has been my biggest fear, and what's kept me from loving you.  But it's not true.  Because of our love, the vampire will not harm you.  All this time LaCroix allowed me to believe if I ever fell in love with a mortal woman, and attempted to love her, the emotions would be so overwhelming, I would take too much of her blood.  Tonight, he shared the truth with me.  Nat, it's just the opposite.  Because of our love, I'll be able to stop, the vampire won't harm you."

Nat bit her lip, nervous about what she was about to ask.  "Nick, you told me once that you attempted to bring your wife, Alyssa, across."

Nick saw the concern and fear on her face.  "Listen to me, Nat.  When he shared this information with me, he allowed me to also see what went wrong with that attempt.  I was a fledgling, too young, with barely any control over the blood lust.  He knew what would happen, and purposely let me attempt to bring her across, to prove his point that I couldn't love a mortal.  He also let me see how much he regrets not warning me.  Nat, that was almost five hundred years ago.  I have more control now."

"I know you do. How could LaCroix have been so cruel?"

"Nat, he was a Roman soldier, used to manipulating people to get what he wanted.  He wanted to mold me to be exactly like him as a vampire.  He wanted me to dismiss mortal's worth, enjoy taking them, savoring every drop of their blood, without remorse.  It's taken him all these centuries to realize I'll never be like him.  I value life too much."

Nat relaxed, and smiled.  "Hon, I've always known this. I've trusted you for six years.  I always knew you wouldn't harm me. "

"But I didn't know it, and I'll never take a chance with your life. You are too important to me."  He stroked her face, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. "I love you more than I've ever loved anyone in my entire mortal or immortal life.  Nat, do you trust me to show you how much?"

"Yes."  Her softly spoken answer was firm, and full of desire.

Nick smiled and pulled her slowly toward him. His lips gently brushed hers, feathering kisses across them.  He kept one hand at the back of her head; his fingers tangled in her hair, as his other hand held her face.

Nat melted to his soft kisses, her heart felt as if it would leap from her chest.  The emotions he stirred in her were always so intense, and now that he was willing to love her, she felt as if her body were on fire. 

Nick's tongue softly stroked across her mouth, testing, asking for acceptance.  Nat's arms wrapped tighter around his neck, pulling him closer.  Her mouth slightly parted-and he was there.  His tongue plunged aggressively into her warm mouth, teasing, caressing, and dueling with her own.

Nick heard her moan, as her tongue matched each of his strokes.  She was so warm, soft, and responsive.  He wanted to take it slow, to cherish and worship every inch of her, but he'd wanted her too long to wait.  In one swift motion, he picked her up, cradling her in his arms as he walked into the bedroom, and slowly laid her on the bed.  His eyes raked over her, stopping to look at her abdomen.  He tried to imagine what she'd look like when her pregnancy began to show.

Nat lay very still, and watched Nick.  It didn't go unnoticed where his eyes rested.  "Nick...are you okay with this?  I know we never discussed the possibility of a pregnancy...I never thought..."

Before she could finish, he'd joined her on the bed, pressing a finger against her lips.  He smiled, but never said a word.  Instead, he lifted her sweater, lowered his head and kissed her stomach.  His hands gripped each side of her waist, as his tongue stroked circles across her belly, dipping into her navel, sending waves of desire straight to her warm core.  He raised his head, and what Nat saw in his eyes erased all doubt. 

"I love you so very much.  I've wanted a life with you, a family.  Natalie, I couldn't be happier." He smiled at her, as his hand slowly rubbed across her abdomen.  "There's only one thing that would make me happier...Nat, marry me."

Her breath caught, and tears sprang forth filling her eyes.  "Nick..."

"Nat, I've wanted to ask you for a long time, but I didn't think it possible to have a real relationship.  It would have been so unfair to you.  Nat, I don't want our baby born without us being married. Some of it is my thirteenth century belief, but the main reason is I want our child to know we loved each other enough to commit, that he...or she...wasn't a mistake.  I never want our child to think that.  I love you, and I want to do this right."

"Yes, Nick...I'll marry you."  She smiled.  His face broke into a grin that reached all the way to his eyes, causing them to twinkle.  Before she knew what he was doing, he'd scooped her into his arms, and kissed every inch of her face.  His mouth came crashing down on hers, his hands sensuously stroking her body. 

Nick finally broke the kiss and stood, pulling her with him to stand.  He swiftly pulled her sweater over her head, his hands fumbled as he tried to get her undressed.  Nat laughed at him.  "Here, allow me."
She unzipped her jeans and kicked them off, and slid out of her panties.  Nick reached up and unsnapped the front closure of her bra.  "Oh, Nat.  You're so beautiful. I've missed you so much."  His mouth possessively captured hers.

The entire time Nick was kissing her, she worked at removing his clothes, with his occasional assistance.  Once they were both naked, Nick wrapped his arms around her and again picked her up, laying her on the bed.  His hands were all over her body, as were hers to his.

"I've wanted you for so long.  It seems like a lifetime since I made love to you."  His hand stroked down her neck, stopping at her breast, and began to knead and roll her nipple between his fingers.

"...for me too." She gasped.  "Nick, I want you now. I don't want to wait any longer."

"Nat, is it safe...for the baby?"

"Yes.  You won't harm the baby or me.  Please...I want..."

He lowered his mouth, capturing her other breast, sucking it fully into his mouth.  He heard her gasp, encouraging him on. His hand traveled lower, lightly brushing across her feminine curls, before finding her pulsing nub.   His thumb brushed lightly across her clit, causing her to become firm with desire.  He increased the pressure as his finger slid into her warm core, causing a moist release that covered his hand.

"Oh, my gosh."  Nat's raspy voice filled the room. With one single touch he'd lit an inferno of lust and desire.  "I need you inside of me..." she demanded.

Nick didn't need further encouragement. His body covered hers, and with one strong thrust, he pushed completely into her willing body.

Nat's legs wrapped around his waist, her hands covered his buttocks, pulling him deeper into her.  She couldn't' get enough.  "More." She whispered into his ear.

He began to slowly, deliberately pull out, only to plunge back into her hot, moistness.  He felt her inner muscles contract around his erection, as if holding him there forever.  He repeated the motion, each time driving harder and faster into her.

Nick felt his eyes change, and his fangs drop.  He held her face, forcing her to look at him.

Nat smiled. "I trust you.  I'm not afraid.  Take what you need, my love."  Her eyes never left his.

"I love you, Nat.  God, I love you."

He again started the magical rhythm, his body filling hers completely until he'd brought them both closer to a final release.

"Nick!" 

He could feel her body tensing, taking her to the edge.  He gently turned her neck, and slowly penetrated her flesh with his fangs.  His heart beat twice, three times as her blood hit his tongue, tasting her for the first time ever.  The impact of how much she truly loved him hit his senses.  He could feel the vampire's excitement of finally tasting her sweet ambrosia, but the man revered the woman he truly loved.

Nat felt his tongue sensuously stroke the length of her neck before the gentle prick of his fangs. She had expected his bite to be painful, but it was the opposite. Feeling him taking her was the most passionate and erotic experience of her entire life.  She could feel the bond between them growing as he accepted her life force, their thoughts and emotions intertwined, becoming one.  She felt the intensity of his love, his passion, his hopes for a life shared with her. Never again would she doubt his love or devotion.  She felt his joy for her being the mother of his child, his anticipation at finally becoming a father. He was thrilled at having a true family of his own, with her the center of a new life he'd never thought possible.

Nick thrust his body deeper into hers one last time, as her warm spiced-honey blood slid down his throat.  He felt her arch her body upward, meeting his demand.

"Yes!" Nat's hands tried pulling him deeper into her, her inner muscles milking him for every last drop as his release shot forth, filling her core.  She felt herself falling over the edge into the oblivious world she could only share with him.  Their bond meshed, allowing each to share the other's intense climax. 

Nick took one last sip of her sweetness before slowly retracting his fangs from her neck.  He rolled on to his back, bringing her to rest on top of him, their bodies still intimately connected.  His hand tangled in her hair, holding her face inches from his. The look on Nat's face was one of pure bliss. 

"I love you, Nick Knight with all my heart."

"I know. I saw it all.  Blood doesn't lie. Are you okay with this, our bond?"  He pushed into their connection, letting her feel the complete intensity of what they now shared.

Nat felt a warm cocoon of love and complete devotion embrace her. "Oh, yes!"  Her voice was raspy from the overwhelming feelings.  "I think I'm going to like this new closeness...very much."  She leaned forward giving him a light kiss on his lips.

"Me too."  He smiled.  "I don't want to wait to marry you.  God, I want you as my wife.  Nat, we have a lot of decisions to make, about our future.  I know your pregnancy prevents you from joining me for now, but...do you think..."

Nat stopped his words with a light kiss.  "Nick, you know my heart's desire.  I want to be with you forever.  If you bring me across, we can be together.  It'll give me time to search for a cure, for both of us, if that's what we decide. I don't want to grow old, die and leave you."

"I don't want that either, Nat.  But to condemn you to this hell..."

She looked at him, her eyes never leaving his.  "Nick, it's my choice. I can't imagine an eternal life with you as hell. How could it be?"

Her words made him remember what Schanke's spirit had said.  They had a long road to travel, that Nat was his destiny.

"Nick, please don't refuse me this.  Not now, but when the time is right, bring me across."

"And the baby?"

"The baby won't be a baby forever.  Someday in the future, we'll know when the time is right. Bring me across so that I can love you, and never leave you alone again."

"Alright, Nat.  But only on one condition."  He gave her a mischievous smile.

She arched a brow.  "And that would be?"

"That you become my eternal wife."

Nat's smile brightened.  "Not a problem. Where do I sign up?"

He rolled her onto her back, covering her body with his.  "Right here."  His mouth covered hers as his body began to stir again deep inside of hers.


The End




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